


Learning To Love You

by gabbisaurusrex



Category: Total Drama, Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race
Genre: M/M, Total Drama World Tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-03-30 22:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13961376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabbisaurusrex/pseuds/gabbisaurusrex
Summary: Total Drama, named justly, has proven to Noah that making friends isn't all that easy. Come the slight chance that he actually does make a friend in Cody Anderson, the dorky, wannabe lady's man, Noah finds that it's hard not to fall in love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Find this story also on Wattpad

There are very few circumstances in which I would put all reason aside a submit myself to an aching, and likely temporary, love story. Don't get me wrong, I can pick out people who qualify as attractive, but allowing myself to become a slave to lust was a big no-no. I have watched many suffer from infatuation that they had at the time thought was true love. I have watched those same people crumble themselves into human balls of paper and allow themselves to tossed at the hypothetical waste bin, becoming completely dysfunctional. Being the pretentious snob I am, I have much more potential than to waste my precious energy on anyone but myself. I know I probably sound like a real genuine asshat, and it's sorta true. I suppose I'm similar to a monk. I set all romantic and sexual feelings aside so I can put all my effort into completing high school and cruising my way through adulthood without making any stupid mistakes. I know, it sounds a bit paranoid, but as cheesy and predictable as it sounds 'better safe than sorry'. Despite my dedication and purity to my academics, I decided to send in a video audition for a reality show, that frankly seemed a bit sketchy due to the lack of details and insisting on having life insurance before applying. I figure that winning a good hundred grand can't be so bad of a deal, and with my excellent luck, perhaps I'll have something unique to put on my college applications in my oh-so bright future. I didn't do anything flashy or something completely out of character for the pretentious Noah Sterecra, so naturally I used my video audition to show off my status of student council president. I could say I wasn't actually internally thrilled when I got the call back saying I would get to participate in whatever cheap, desperate-for-cash reality show they'll be throwing me into next week, but I'd be lying. My first instinct was to start packing my books into one suitcase. I could easily clean off a novel in a few hours if I didn't have anything distracting me, so I shoved as many as I could fit neatly into the rolling trunk, and pulled another out from my closet to fill with a pile of clothes laying on my bed. Most of them were gay looking pieces of shit, so hopefully I can make an accurate impression. It seems to be the general consensus to everyone who meets me that I'm a gay, pretentious know-it-all. I can't help but to agree. --------- The second I step off possibly the noisiest motorboat boat in all of Canada, I saw a group of teenagers standing on the dock of a crappy island, that looked like it used to be a dump or something. "Is this where we're staying?" I ask the host with a snarky tone, trying to emphasis the homo in my nasally voice. An Einstein-looking asshole cracked his knuckles and smirked. "No it's your mother's house" he threatened snidely, "And we're throwing a party" The dude grinned, making him look like that shark from Finding Nemo. This snowflake had a nice green-colored Mohawk sitting on top of a face full of lead piercings. "Nice piercings Original, do them yourself?" I point at his face that had now gone as blank as his shit-filled head. "Yeah, you want one?" Then Mr. Hair Gel reaches for my lower lip and pulls on it, pointing a needle downward. I rolled my eyes. "Uh, no shank you, can I hasve my lihp bachk pleashz" I attempted to spit out, but it was muffled by his filthy hand all up in my business. He released my lip, making me stumble backwards. I rolled my eyes again, trying to make it obvious to Tough Guy With The Earrings. I escorted myself to the back of the dock, behind everyone else. As the other super lucky contestants were boated in, I do my best to learn their names, but let's face the music. I'm not listening. Few actually make enough of an impression in my overloaded brain to stand out. There was a way too happy guy in a hot pink shirt that was completely unbuttoned. Not that I'm complaining, he's pretty hot. Another was a girl who had such big boobs she looked like she was about to topple over, but one word from her, I realize it's all the air in her head keeping her upright. There was a rather large guy who has as much energy as he has excess body fat. The host is this egotistical cheapskate who has no problem leading 22 teenagers up a 1000 foot cliff to dive into the sharky waters below it. And so me and the happy-go-lucky team of mine stood and watched the opposing team jump first. I wasn't going to let a faceplant into a freaking lake stop me from at least taking the victory for my riff-raff team. I don't even remember most their names. I know the big guy is Owen. Boobs McBraindead is actually Lindsay. Some guy who liked to think he was all that, with his gay-ass guitar and crap was pulling moves on a perfectly pushover special snowflake goth girl. Another shorter kid with a gap in his teeth was trying to mimic the guitarist guy, likely trying to pick up the dude's emo queen. Needless to say, the kid was being completely ignored. I kinda feel bad for him, he seemed like a pretty friendly guy, just one of those guys who wished they could be a 'playa' but couldn't be. "Don't bother dude, everyone here's too self-absorbed to have any sympathy" I half mutter, half whisper to the gap-tooth kid. He gave me a small, toothy smile. Poor guy looked so pathetic, I couldn't help myself but to smile back. And that's not something I do very often. But something about this dorky kid made me sympathize a bit. ----------- All but two campers from the other team, The Killer Bass, ended up jumping. I jumped right after the guitar wielding weirdo. Owen was last who had to jump, after a stubby girl with a bad lisp chickened out on us. If Owen didn't jump, we'd tie the challenge. Guitar man, aka Trent, and I float in the middle of the shark-free zone and watch as Owen makes his plummet off the cliff. Not until after he hit the water did we realize how bad of an idea it was to still be in the water at the same time, ending with me toppled onto the sand, legs in air. As gracious I am that we won the first challenge, I am not so thrilled that my hair is all soggy and sandy. My inner diva won't allow it. I cursed under my breath and wrang the salty water out of the mop on my head as the rest of my team loaded a bunch of big-ass creates into the handcarts we won as a reward from the first Godforsaken challenge. I ended up having to pull with Lindsiot until she got distracted by an oh-so pretty seashell! After all 100 bottles of the sing-song pop have happened to fall, we actually made it to where the cabins for our team were. The cabins were exactly what you'd expect from a summer camp. Log bunk beds with scratchy blankets, sucky air conditioning, and enough insects to do my own research project. Chris, our madman of a host, has us open our creates with our teeth. I really am in the presence of true genius. A completely insane chick, Lizzy or something, is particularly good at this challenge. Using the crap inside these crates, we had to build a hot tub. Given that we have all the pieces, I'm actually not too worried about this challenge. --------- Just as I thought, the building process wasn't too bad. Not to mention, the other team was keeping their pool together with duct tape. Freaking Duct Tape! Needless to say, Chris gave us the win, so we got to have a steamy-ass pool party. As much as I love wet, shirtless guy in swimsuits, I keep my eyes glued to my book. My tactic was not to stand out too much to everyone else, but sometimes, even buttholes like myself have to celebrate such a dominating victory. So it turns out during the elimination ceremony, the Killer Bass got rid of some kid called Ezekiel, but I can't put a face to the name. By the news got around, most campers were turning in for the night. My team, The Screaming Gophers (genius name. I know) was in one cabin, and The Killer Bass was in the other. The guys were in one side, and the girls were on the other. So I was stuck with Owen, Trent, the gap-tooth kid who's name is Cody, and some dream boat dude who's name is Justin. There wasn't a lot of talking going on before we all fell asleep. I got the bunk over Justin, even though I specifically told all the dudes in there that I hate the top bunk. Not that it mattered, because I fell asleep almost immediately. ---------- I would rather kill myself than do the next challenge. Chrissy-Poo wants us to run 20k? Screw that! I must've made it 15 minutes before I tripped on a rock. Instead of being one of those over-achiever athlete jocks, I just layed down and shut my eyes. It turned out to be a smart move, because Owen thought I was unconscious or something, so he slung me over his shoulder for the rest of the race. ----------- "Wait. If they lost, that means we won!" I heard gothy girl say. I opened my eyes and cheered when I heard it. After that, we were rewarded with the first actual meal all season: A huge turkey buffet. It was beautiful... After an hour long of eating to our heart's content, we were all satisfied by the day's mild challenge. "Now for the second part of the challenge!" Chris cheered. You have gotta be shitting me man, I'm about to crash after the ran and the meal. "You mean eating wasn't the second challenge?" Owen yelled, mouth full of food. "Don't worry, this one's easy" Chris smirked "This one's an awake-a-thon!" Most of us too stuffed to move murmured amongst ourselves, afraid 'awake-a-thon' meant what we thought it it. "Easy. Last camper awake wins for their team. Groovy? Meet me at the campfire in 10 minutes" ----------- I had myself propped up against a log, purposefully trying to make myself as uncomfortable as possible so I wouldn't fall asleep. I was chatting it up lazily with Owen and Cody. "Man" Owen groans "How long has it been? It's got to have been like 6 hours by now!" "It's been 45 minutes Big Guy, this is going to be a long challenge for you" I sneered. Owen moans and falls on his side lazily. Cody is staring at Trent and Gwen who are both wide awake and flirting with each other shamelessly. Poor guy had been crushing on 'gothic goddess' since day one, and not once has she payed any attention to the little dude. "You think she'll ever come to her senses and realize that I'm a much better option for her than Trent is?" He sighed, talking to no one in particular. But I was listening, mostly because distracting myself was going to keep me awake. "Unlikely" I spat back unenthusiasticly. Cody sighs again and slumps defeatedly on a sideways Owen. "Maybe you're right. She's never going to even look at me as long as Trent's around" I actually felt bad for him, but something about the way that he was still so devoted to that blue-haired freak after she pays no attention to him bothers me. --------- Okay, so we're about 15 hours in and about 25% of the campers are out cold, including Owen, Lindsay, the stubby girl, and a few from the Killer Bass. I'm trying to suppress my exhaustion by finishing one of the several novels I brought with me. Trent and Gwen were still flirting, which was keeping them awake so I can't argue too much. Chris decides that it's going too slow, so he drags out a storybook. Once he begins readjng, I get distracted from my own reading, so I put my book down, glaring at Chris. I instantly regretted doing that, because that was the last thing I remember before falling asleep. --------- I woke up to the feeling of something soft against my face and lips. I don't know how I woke up kissing it, but it felt nice. Well, at least until I got my common sense back, and realized exactly what I was kissing. Actually, more like WHO I was kissing. That "who" is Cody. As soon as I got my senses, I jumped up and screamed in his face, him mirroring my terror. God, what a way to appear on NATIONAL television Noah! Jesus Christ! I hauled ass to the cabin and properly fell asleep. By myself, I may add. God that was awful. ---------- I was woken up by Gwen, Trent, the crazy girl Izzy, and some Asian chick who thinks she runs the place Heather coming into the cabin. I don't know exactly what time it is, but it's dark, so it's not exactly a time I want to be woken up, especially after this challenge from hell. I sat up in bed and glared at the guys coming in. "At least tell me you guys won" I half sneered, half yawned. Heather rolled her eyes. "Gwen here won. The other team sent Eva home" Heather hissed. I'm pretty sure Eva is the muscle cow with the unibrow and bag full of dumbbells. I laid back down and flicked the proverbial lights off in my brain. I am ready to win this thing.


	2. Rest For The Wicked

"The first rule of dodgeball is..."

I kept a straight face and spat "Don't talk about dodgeball?"

Everyone around me laughed. Owen must've found it especially funny, because he erupted so hard he nearly shit his pants. Anyway, dodgeball was not something I was into. I can debate the pants off anyone, I can run an entire school election and office, but dodgeball? Nu uh honey. Not happening. Noah don't do dogdeball, or any sports for that matter.

"Anyone wanna volunteer to sit out with sleeping beauty on the bench?" Heather bossed. I had to take this opportunity.

"Fine!" I smirked "I'll do it" 

I sat down on the bench next to a very tired Gwen and opened one of my few precious unread books. Thus, I have no idea what is happening on the court. But they didn't need to know that, so I made crude, mostly sarcastic attempts to look like I was paying attention.

"Knock em out, throw em out, rah rah" I half-heartedly chant, not once looking up from the book. This earned me a nice dodgeball to the face, by an unknown member of my team. Probably Gwen or Heather. Both those girls are Grade-A bitches, so I guess it doesn't matter which one it was. I sent my glare in the general direction of my team and continued to read, doing my best to ignore the whole sports commotion going on.

\------------

So turns out my oh-so lucky team lost the challenge so we get to go down to the fire and get rid of someone. My vote is on Lindsay. I swear I lose a brain cell every time I talk to that blond rock.

Yeah, well the rest of my lovely team decided I was the expendable one. As if.

"You just voted off the only one with any brains around here" I shrugged. Chef Hatchet, the guy making all these Grade-A meals around here, dumped my two bags at the end of the dock. It probably would be easier for me to leave this dump if I wasn't getting pelted with marshmallows. Good job guys, marshmallows, real painful I assure you. I get on the motor boat as unenthusiasticly as I did when I got here, and let the piece of junk take me who knows where.

As much as I hope that I'm being zoomed off to the nearest airport so I can go home where there is solitude, cable TV, digestible meals, and unlimited books, of course I'm taken to an island that's decked out in fake-ass palm trees and such. 

Turns out this is where Mr. Haircut sends the losers after they're gone. Admittedly, it's a step up from "trashy summer camp", but it's not quite "vacation resort". 

Once I'm checked into a room, I get to have my own piece and quiet, which is a luxury I haven't had since I sold my soul to reality TV.

The rooms were acceptable for my own pretentious needs. There were two rooms in it. A living room, that was empty with the exception of a television hooked to the wall, a couch opposite the TV, and a desk table next to that. 

In the bedroom, there was a nice beach house style bed with a night table beside it, and a shorter table at the end of the bed. 

I put my suitcases on the shorter table and immediately went to hunt down the bathrooms.

Lucky for me, the bathrooms were as communal as they were back on the island, except these ones are actually clean. Connected to them was a shower house with nothing but a ugly green curtain separating the outside world with one's naked body.

After I did my business, I went back to my room and turned on the TV. And you know what I saw?

The freaking promos for Total Drama Island, like it was the first thing I wanted to see now that I'm off that sucky island. Nu-uh honey, not today.

Of course I watched it anyway like the diva I am who soaks in reality TV like a sponge. It's my guilty pleasure. 

The first episode hasn't aired yet, so the viewing world gets an extra few weeks before they know what damage has been done to their favorite campers.

After I was thoroughly informed about what I had already first-handedly experienced anyway, I ended watching a show about dudes turning people's cars into pimped out cruisers. After I lost interest in that, I ended up cracking one of my unread books open. It wasn't going to be long until I've read them, so hopefully I can distract myself with other things.

\--------

I wake up with my open book toppled on the floor, and my scrawny body sprawled across the sofa. As great as these rooms were, Chris must've been too cheap to get any sort of clock in the room, and since we weren't allowed our cell phones, I had to go on an expedition to find the time. 

I found my way to a room that served as both a kitchen, and what looked like a juice bar or something. The time on the stove read ten past nine, so I wasn't asleep that long. I arrived at "Playa des Losers" or whatever Chris wanted to call it at about 7:30 tonight, and I've already completely bore myself. 

I heard some shouting down the hall, so out of more boredom than actual curiosity, I followed the hallway to what I assume was a den due to the giant TV and abundance of couches and tables. There was even an open fire pit in the corner lighting the room. 

The shouting had come from Eva yelling at another kid with scruffy hair and a thick Canadian accent. I think his name was like Ezekiel or Malachi or something like that.

Anyway, the other kid looked like his life was flashing before his eyes, as he cowards down beneath a raging Eva. And upon this discovery, it came to me that they were the only other former campers here. 

Before either of them noticed I was there, I slithered away back to the kitchen, grabbing myself a bag of tortilla chips before hauling ass back to my own room.

\--------

The next week of my life usually went read, eat, shower, watch TV, read, nap, eat, watch TV, read, sleep. It was a pretty friendly schedule that was undisturbed with the exception of an outburst from Eva followed by terrified shrieks from the other kid.

The only exciting thing that happened was the arrival of Chris's weekly reject, which happened to be Justin. Even though he and I were previously on the same team, neither of us exchanged any interactions with the exception of an occasional head nod when passing each other awkwardly in the bathroom.

And it continued that way through the next week when the next contestant was brought back, and even the one after that.

There were now six teenagers living in Playa des Losers together, consisting of myself, Justin, Eva, Ezekiel, an accident-prone bloke named Tyler, and a sobbing girl which, if I can remember right, was separated from her squealing soul-mate that was twice her size.

I made very few attempts to bond with the others. When I did get out of my room for occasions other than eating or doing my business, I spent time by the heavily chlorinated pool, reading peacefully. Of course, this peace was usually disturbed within twenty minutes by Eva and Tyler having some sort of one-sided competition. These competitions almost always end up with Tyler being twisted around like a pretzel. Poor guy. If I remember right, he was the dude that Lindsay had been fawning over, so I feel even more bad that je has to deal with that. But I guess some guys are into all boobs, no brains. 

Personally I like it no boobs, lots of brains, and male. But that's just my gay ass speaking.

\--------

Two weeks later Izzy and Cody have been eliminated. Izzy never came to the loser house, and Cody has been in the infirmary upstairs the whole time due to a bear attack, so things aren't that different. Now that Total Drama started airing on TV, I set time out of my week to watch it, even though I already know what happens and who is eliminated. 

And now I'm down to my last precious book, so I'm saving it for a time of extreme boredom. I've managed to bring myself down the hall to the public den a few times, but often I leave once Eva gets all riled up. Katie spends most her time making heart eyes at Justin, and Ezekiel is usually in his room doing who knows what. And in a time where there was nothing good on TV, and no one else to visit with, I dragged myself to the third floor to give a visit to poor Cody.

"Hey dude" I say softly as I open the door to the infirmary. He managed to croak out a 'hi' as I walk across the tiny room. The kid was propped up with several pillows in a typical looking hospital bed, covered in probably more bandages necessary. I pull over a plastic folding chair to his right side, and sit down casually. 

Cody's caramel hair was matted down with the island's grime and his own sweat. His whole body reeked of sweat and blood, and just camp in general.

"Cody, dude you smell like Chef's cooking" I commented. The boy's eyes turned towards mine.

"Thanks Noah, that's one way to bring up my self-confidence" he managed, a smile creeping up on his crooked little mouth. He appeared so innocent, it was odd to hear him speak in sarcasm.

"Gwen tell you the same thing?" I asked snidely. I should've felt guilty, since the guy is maimed and all, but he just laughed.

"Nah, she hasn't even noticed me since I set her up with Trent" he chuckled, but I could still see a flicker of sadness in his aqua eyes.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but it sounds like you brought it upon yourself" I say with a straight face. Cody brings his hand up to adjust one of his bandages.

"Not like she was going to get with me anyway. Might as well let one of us be happy" he said, the sadness in his eyes growing larger. I placed a sympathetic pat on his greasy hair, carful not to hurt him anymore than he already was.

"Okay, you seriously need a bath" I said in the most friendly way possible. Cody lifted his head a little.

"I would, except I have a few minor injuries weighing me down" 

"Do you want help?" I offered nonchalantly.

"That'd be awesome actually" he said, his voice cracking. I carefully helped him sit up and turn him so his scratched up legs swung over the side of the bed. He was wearing a loose pair of basketball shorts that brushed his boney knees. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but his entire torso was wrapped in baby blue bandages.

Careful not to put any pressure on his chest, and not make it weird since we aren't exactly that close, I helped him stand up, and make his way to the little bathroom in the infirmary. 

"You don't need help getting undressed do you?" I questioned him skeptically. He gave a small laugh.

"No, I think I can manage, but can you help me take my bandages off?"

I found the end of the blue bandage, and unraveled it slowly around his body. It made a faint ripping noise every time I unwrapped it across his scars, making him wince. 

Once it was off, I got a good look at his scar. It was red, scabbed over, and a little puffy. It was an odd contradiction to Cody's innocent appearance, which made it fascinating. 

Cody must've thought the same thing, because he looked delighted to see such a scar lying on his chest.

"It looks awesome!" He mused as I ran water through the bathtub faucet, trying to get it a comfortable temperature so it wouldn't sting his scar.

As soon as I turned off the water I gave him a small pat on his boney shoulder.

"Will you wait for me?" He asked, his eyes wide like a puppy's. I smirked and nodded.

"Sure kid, enjoy your bath" 

I shut the door and went to sit on my chair by his now empty bed. I resorted to rereading one of the books I have already finished. I was interrupted with a small scream from the bathroom. I smirked knowing that brave little Cody just got his swollen wound wet. 

And thus, I read my book, and waited for the dude to clean off weeks of camp off his wounded body. But something was bothering me about the affect Cody had on my usually quite snobbish attitude, but I just couldn't sort it out. So I ignored it.


	3. Mindless Playa

When Cody came out of the bathroom, he was wearing the same shorts as before and had a towel draped around his shoulders like a cape. He walked like you'd expect someone in so much pain to walk, the poor guy. When he reached the bed, he flopped down on his back, letting out a slight grunt upon impact. I raised an eyebrow at him to imply the obvious question.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But I'll need new bandages" he groaned, adjusting himself so he could lay comfortably in bed. I stood up and straightened out my sweater vest.

"I'll go find a nurse. Don't hurt yourself" I said, picking up my book from the end of the bed.

"Thanks Noah" Cody whimpered, already starting to fall asleep. I rolled my eyes and set out to find the nurse who was usually on lifeguard duty for the idiots who often populated the pool. 

Once I was assured Cody would be taken care of, I found a quiet place on the pool deck to lay down and nap. It was quite peaceful until I was brutally woken by my stupid self rolling into the pool mid sleep.

I spat water out of my mouth, leaving behind the taste of chlorine. I grumbled and sat myself on the edge of the pool and watched Tyler, Eva, Justin, and Katie toss around a beach ball. Some more agressivly than others... *cough* Eva *cough*.

As entertaining as it was to watch Tyler near drown himself every six minutes, I wound up stopping to get a mango smoothie out of the fridge, and made my way back to my room.

I turned on the TV to find Total Drama Island being played. After about thirty seconds, I was able to piece together that it was playing the episode with our favorite challenge: The Awake-a-thon.

Needless to say, I didn't get much screen time. Most of the episode had been focused around Gwen and Trent's little hookup. But of course, the one time the camera actually focused on my idiot face was when I went ham on Cody's ear.

I had actually forgotten about that until now, and rewatching gave me a different feeling than it did when it happened. I remember it being annoying and embarrassing, but seeing it happen from third person view gave me a tingling feeling in my face, making my cheeks flush. The second I realized what was happening, I hit myself in the head with the nearest book.

No. No no no no no. Remember what you said before the show started. No romance, no distractions.

Distractions from what? The game that I got eliminated from weeks ago? The education I'm getting here at this cheapo resort? There's nothing here that should stop me from admitting my own feelings to myself. 

No one said I have to tell Cody I like him, if that's even the case. Even if I do, after the competition is over I'll never see him again anyway. What have I got to lose?

Your sanity? Common sense? Composure?

My inner dialogue was getting on my nerves. I hit myself in the face again for good measure, clicked off the TV, and stood up. I stretched out my cramped body and made my way to the infirmary to check on Cody. 

When I got there, he was watching The Lion King on one of those rolling TV stands that were often found in classrooms. His hair was sticking up in weird places, and he had a loose T-shirt covering up his fresh bandages. When he saw me come in, his face lit like a fire.

"Noah! Thank goodness, I was so lonely up here by myself" he said with a stiff smile. I smirked and sat in the chair beside him, which hasn't moved at all. 

"Well this place is so dull, I look forward to the time I spend with the sick kid in the hospital" I said, my voice dripping in sarcasm. Cody chuckled.

"The nurse says I'll be out of here by next week, once the stitches start healing up more" he beamed. I chuckled.

"I'd rather be locked safely in here than be in Eva's rage zone" 

Cody gave a small giggle, sitting up using the support from his pillow.

"It sounds like a blast down there!" 

I shook my head.

"The longer you stay, the worse it gets. Give it a week and you'll be thinking the same thing"

Cody gave a weak shrug, his shirt clinging to the bandages on his chest.

"Still pumped" he said smiling like an excited child, "heard there was a pool and everything!"

I couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm. This kid was so far from being one of the "players" he wants to be, and he knows it too. On the inside he's a genuine kid who loves swimming and chocolate ice cream.

\--------

I made my bi-daily trek to the infirmary, where I expected to see Cody still asleep, but instead he was sitiing on the side of the bed, legs swinging back and forth. After all the weeks I spent locked in my room all by myself, it was nice to have Cody to hang out with, even though I was basically just his nurse. 

He grinned his gap-tooth little grin as I walked through the room, still sporting my sweatpants and the shirt I sleep in.

"Why so happy?" 

I raised my eyebrow sleepily. His grin doubled.

"I get to leave the infirmary today!" He cheered, standing up out of bed. He must've had a bath last night, because he smelled like pine needles and rain. His hair was fluffy and in his face.

When he stood up, it took him a minute to get his balance. He was shirtless and wearing the same shorts he was wearing the week before.

"Woah there tiger, don't you need to check with the nurse?" I said, offering his my arm to help him balance himself.

"I already did!" He grinned, holding up the key to his new room down on the second floor with the rest of us. I chuckled.

"Alright. I'll get your suitcase" I said, grabbing the handle on his red bag and rolled it towards the door. He followed behind me, using the suitcase as his support system.

Once he had stumbled his way down the stairs and into his room, only a few doors down from my own, he ended up crashing on the couch, but not before he admired the quality of his room.

"My own TV!" He shouted "My parents won't let me have one!" 

His enthusiasm made me laugh. 

"Well I'll let you settle in" I said as he dragged his suitcase into his bedroom. "I'm in room 219, but don't bother me before 9 and after 11" I sneered, giving him a smile.

"Okie dokie!" I heard him chant as I shut the door behind me. He is a cutie, there was no denying that. But I still wondered what I found so attractive about him.

Perhaps it was his innocent persona that he tried to hide. Or maybe it was just the desperation this environment made me feel. But I promised myself I wouldn't think about it too hard, and went to the juice bar. 

I grabbed myself a kiwi smoothie and sat at the bar. Not too long after, Tyler and Justin sat down at the bar too, leaving a seat between myself and them. I had no problem with either of them, but as soon as Eva came and tried to pick a fight with Tyler, I was out of that place. 

Having no where else to go, I just went back to the room and turned on the TV. I couldn't really tell you what was playing though, because I was lost somewhere deep in the depths of Noah's brain. I wish I could say I was pondering something a bit more noble, but we all know exactly what I was thinking.

Cody's impact on me was all I could think about. The way he wore down my hard, sarcastic outer layer. The way his innocence made me smile the way only a good book or a shirtless super model could. The way he made me so easily fall into his trap without me even thinking about it. I can't believe I let that happen to myself. 

And as much as I've been avoiding to say it: I like Cody.

"I like Cody" I whispered under the white noise of the TV. I stood up and shook out my hair.

"I like Cody" I whisper again as I made my way to the door. I shoved my key in my pocket and slammed the door behind me. I walked down the hall to Cody's room and knocked on his door. Within twenty seconds he pulled open the door.

"Hey Noah" he said with a small smile.

"Hi Cody, how's your room treating you?"

He looked around the room as if he had to remember exactly what it looked like.

"Good!" He beamed, looking back at me.

"Want a tour of the Playa?" I offered to him. He immediately nodded. I gestured him out into the hallway, the door closing behind him. We walked, myself leading, down to where the kitchen was. Justin was still there, and Katie was on his right side, admiring him and Beth, who must've arrived not too long ago, was on his left. I gave Cody a quick explanation of the room, him showing complete disinterest.

"Can we go see the pool now?" he asked, giving me puppy dog eyes. God, it was adorable. Adorably evil.

I sighed.

"Yeah, I guess we can" I said and led him out to the pool deck. Only Tyler and Ezekiel were out there at the moment, and Tyler was only half-conscious after hitting his head on the bottom of the pool. 

As unimpressed I was, Cody looked absolutely thrilled.

"Can we go swimming?" he pleaded. I cocked my eyebrow.

"Right now?" 

He nodded vigorously and I sighed, making it as audible as possible.

"Fine, but you can't make me like it" I spat, rolling my eyes.

"You underestimate me, Noah" he grinned. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up to where our rooms were. His small hands gripping my wrist made my skin tingle with warmth. The contrast between my own dark skin and his pale, freckled hand made me briefly imagine us together in an intimate way. But I quickly shook it out of my head when I felt my face getting hot.

He pulled me all the way down to his room, until he ushered me into my own room so I could change into my own bathing suit. I dragged myself into the bedroom to change.

By now I've been living here long enough for my room to be a bit more "personalized" per se. I had a little pyramid of books on the desk table in the living room, and I had all my clothes organized in the small closet inside the bedroom.

I pulled my swimsuit off it's hanger and threw it on the bed. I took off my shirt, and not in the way you weirdos are picturing this in your heads. In fact, I'm probably the least sexy ex-contestant on this show. Except for maybe Eva, but at least she's in shape. Eh, I probably beat Beth too.

Once I remove my pants, the brief coldness gives me a bit of a problem where problems shouldn't occur when going swimming with another guy who is definitely not gay. And after I opened the door to a very eager Cody in a swimsuit, my problem didn't get any better.

He practically shoved me all the way to the pool, and then literally shoved me in the pool. In exchange I spat all the water in my mouth into his face. But being the enthusiastic child that he is, didn't seem to have any problem with my saliva water all up in his business.

Oh-so lucky for me, literally everyone else was at the pool too, so I ended up sitting at the cabana and watching Tyler and Justin play keep-away with Cody from the beach ball.

I must've fallen asleep right around then, because the next thing I see is a very sunburned Cody sitting next to me slurping some sort of pineapple-y juice. When I sat up groggily, he turned his head and grinned at me, showing off his little tooth gap. 

"Noah!"

I gave him an over-emphasized wave.

"Cody! Fancy seeing you here. Such a small world" I said with sleepy smirk. He rolled his eyes.

"Why didn't you swim?" he asked, poking his straw into the ice inside his glass, making it swirl around.

"Swimming isn't really up my alley" I explained, my feet dangling into the water. Gave stuck his lip out in a faux pout. 

"C'mon Noah, how often do you get to go swimming?" he pleaded.

"Whenever I want really, it's not like pools are that rare"

Cody rolled his eyes again, a little too forced. He wasn't usually the kind of guy who used sarcasm.

"Fine, we can do something you want to do now" he groans, hopping down into the pool and crawling his way back to the deck to get a towel. I follow him, shaking the excess water out of my hair. I wrapped a towel around myself and faced Cody.

"What do you want to do then?" he asked me, running the terry cloth over his dripping legs.

I smirked but didn't say anything.

I'm looking right at it. 


	4. Access Denied, Drama Granted

I know that you were probably expecting that to be the moment when I confessed my love to him, and he would either:

A: Shoot me down then and there. But in a nice way of course because it's Cody.

B: Accept my love, even if doesn't return it.

C: We make out and have cheeky butt-sex.

Well, none of the above happened because two weeks later and I still haven't told him how I feel. Maybe it's because I'm hoping that if I repress my feelings enough, eventually they'll die out. Or maybe it's because I'm a coward and am afraid of failure. Which is true. Noah doesn't fail, not on a test, not in an argument. Never.

Even if I did confess my admiration to Cody, which I don't plan on, I wouldn't expect him to like me back. I wouldn't be mad, I'm not even sure I'd be ridiculously upset if he didn't feel the same. Mostly because I know he doesn't, the kid's so hung up on the glorious Gwen.

Anyway, he and I spend a good amount of time with each other. Every week we get together with Tyler and Justin to watch Total Drama together. The one that aired this week was the one Katie got kicked out in, but by now Courtney and Sadie have joined us at the Playa. And not gonna lie, Courtney's gone a bit loco. I mean she carries a damn curtain rod around with her!

This whole place is just a train wreck.

\-------------------

Cody was curled up on the couch, his tired eyes drooped lazily, fixed on the TV that was quietly playing Friends. He had a soft blanket wrapped around him and was cradling a mug of hot chocolate in his hands. I was seated on the other end of the couch, my legs stretched out so my feet were touching Cody's leg. I had the comforter from my bed draped over my body.

"Cody, what time is it?"

He jumped a little as if waking up from a trance.

"Oh, uhhh," he looked at his watch, "11:23"

I sat up and smoothed out my ruffled hair. 

"Wanna go back to your room now, get some sleep?" I groaned, scratching my shoulder. He shook his head.

"It's not even that late"

He lies. He's yawning.

"Dude you're exhausted. And so am I, so I'm going to bed"

I switched off the TV and stood up, picking the comforter from the couch. I went into the bedroom, shutting the door, and threw the blanket lazily onto the bed. I took off my pants and shirt and crawled between the sheets. I waited for the sound of him leaving the room, but I fell asleep within a minute, so I never confirmed that he actually left.

And of course, he didn't. When I got up to go to the bathroom, probably around 6:30 in the morning, there he was, his mouth open a little so I could hear his soft breathing. His blanket had fallen and was only covering one of his legs. 

I sighed and covered him up, doing my best not to disturb him. It took so much out of me not to kiss his squishy, tired cheek. 

But I didn't, so I grabbed my key, and went down the hall into the bathroom to pee. Luckily for me, I could hear who I'm pretty sure was Ezekiel tending to some "personal" business in the shower. Awesome.

When I got back to the room, Cody was still asleep, but he had rolled over so his blanket was now laying completely on the floor. I just rolled my eyes and left him there. I threw on my day clothes and walked down to the kitchen to grab a smoothie. My best friend Eva was down there pounding the life out of what used to be a fruit because 'it wouldn't juice'.

I managed to steal a canned smoothie from the fridge a make it back up in one piece. I opened the door to see a still sleeping Cody that had fallen on the floor, blanket and all. An audible sigh escaped my sarcastic lips, and I bent down to scoop him up.

I would've expected him to be lighter and smaller, like a toddler. And sometimes I forget the dude's 16. Which now as I say it, it sounds creepy given that I wouldn't be opposed to doing the dirty with him. God, I can't believe that was produced from my mind! I need to stop talking.

I waddled into my own bedroom, Cody still miraculously asleep in my arms, and set him in the bed. I spread his blanket across him and tucked it delicately in his sides so it wouldn't freaking fall off this time.

His breaths were wispy and shallow, so I knew he was genuinely asleep. So I took a chance.

"Main tumase pyaar karata hoon" I whispered.

It means 'I love you' in Hindi for all you English speaking fools. I know he didn't hear me, and even if he did, he wouldn't understand. Yet, I feel like I lifted the secret of my admiration for him off my scrawny chest. And I probably could've stood there just staring at him until someone rapped ferociously on the door, waking me out of my Cody-induced trance, and Cody out of his sleep.

I ran to get the door without looking back at Cody. Likely he was a bit weirded out by being in my bed with me looming over it, which is totally fair.

I opened the door with an aggressive 'what?', which came out gayer than I intended, to see a slightly offended looking Beth.

"I didn'th wake you, didth I?" She cautioned out. I shook my head.

"What do you want Beth, it's really early still"

She started twiddling her thumbs. She was probably the human embodiment of the awkward middle school phase, but she happened to be hitting it at age 16.

"One of the internsth shays one of us will hath the chanthe to go back on the sthow. If we want that isth..." she trailed off, probably intimidated by my grumpy morning look. 

By this time, Cody had made his way groggily out of bed, his blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He seemed to be half asleep, so I'm hoping he doesn't think too deeply into the whole waking up in my bed business.

"I'm in" he says with a lazy grin. 

I immediately shook my head.

"You couldn't pay me a million dollars to make me go back to that place" I spat. Cody looked at me as if disappointed I wasn't going to participate, but he didn't object to it.

"This isn't happening right now, is it?" Cody asked Beth. She shook her head.

"Christh is coming here in abouth an hour" she said, releasing a rain of saliva from her metalwork mouth. I'm pretty sure the face of disgust I usually internalize emerged right about then. Cody nodded, and I shut the door. 

"Bye Beth" I grunted and turned to face Cody.

"I'm shocked you can fall asleep in my room, fall off the couch twice, be relocated into the bedroom and still not wake up" 

He laughed, but rolled his eyes.

"What can I say, I'm a deep sleeper" he chuckled. I smirked at him and sat on the couch.

"Noah, how come you aren't going to try and go back? It's a hundred grand!" 

He sat down beside me, still wrapped in his blanket. His bare feet were pale and they padded up and down when he tapped his leg. He is quite the ADHD kid, as he is always moving in some way, The little dude can't sit still.

"Because staying in a rotting cabin with a bunch of sketchy people and risking my life once a week for the sake of entertainment isn't exactly my slice of pie"

He shrugged.

"I guess. But if I win I might get another chance at Gwen"

I shook my head.

"Isn't there a girl in that competition that you want to see again? Unless she's already eliminated, I guess. But the only hot girl here is Courtney and she's a nut job..." he babbled.

"Who said it was the girls I'm into?"

He proceeded to list the possible male crushes for me, but what I said didn't register until ten seconds later.

"Ooh, you're... like that" he said in the most friendly, cautious way possible.

I smirked.

"I'm shocked you haven't figured it out yet, honey"

I got a laugh out of him.

"I guess that does explain a lot," he grinned, "but are there any dudes you're into in the competition? Because I bet I could like put in a good word for you and help you out" he rambled, getting all excited. I let him talk until he started talking about having a double date with Gwen and Trent. At first I heard it as he and I would be together, but then I realized he was talking about setting me up with Trent.

"Woah, woah, woah, I never said I was into any of the guys here" I defended, putting my hands up in mock surrender.

"Well don't you think any of them are hot?" he asked innocently.

"I mean yeah, of course"

"How would you rate the guys from hottest to least hot?" Cody interrupted, obviously intrigued by the 'new' information of my homosexuality.

"Uhm, I'd say Geoff being the hottest, Justin, Duncan, Tyler, Trent, DJ, myself, you. And then the rest are too ugly to put on the list" I shrugged.

He looked both amazed and mildly offended.

"I'm last on the decent list? You even put yourself before me" he giggled, trying to sound angry.

"Hey at least you made it on the list"

"Fair enough" he reasoned.

We sat in thirty seconds of possibly the most awkward silence ever.

"So you like Geoff?" He asked.

I LOL'd at his naivety.

"No, I just said he was the hottest"

Cody gave a small shrug and finally stopped asking questions.

"Well I guess I can't make you go for another shot" he said standing up. He stretched out his skinny arms and headed towards the door.

"I'll talk to you after. Unless I win of course" he chuckled, and let the door close softly behind him. I slumped back into the couch, shaking my head at myself.

This was my chance! To tell him how I feel! 

I sighed and clicked on the TV, watching some sketchy reality show on whatever channel Cody, and eventually dozed off to the buzzing sound of a bunch of fat, white guys buying junk from other people.

\--------------

When I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen, I could hear Courtney bitching to someone about something, however it was inaudible over her screeching voice. Once I turned the corner, I saw her sitting at the bar with Katie, Sadie, Cody, and a mildly terrified Tyler.

"...I deserved a chance to go back, I was kicked off unfairly! And that meat brain gets to go back and threaten the pants off everybody again when no one really liked her anyway and she never had a chance!"

Cody was just nodding at her rant while Katie was trying to engage with the screaming latina nut bag, allegedly getting interrupted by Courtney's constant stream of madness escaping her glossy lips.

Part of me said to just turn around now and not get involved, but my curiosity won over, and I ended up taking the seat on the right of Courtney, who was still going on about Harold's wrong-doing. Turns out that scrawny geek rigged the votes to get Courtney off the show, getting revenge at Duncan. Turns out, Courtney wasn't impressed.

"When he gets his skinny ass off that island, oh boy he's going to get my whole summer of CIT training coming at him!" she erupted, throwing several grapes on the cement floor, making one bounce back and ricochet right into poor Tyler's eye, making him fall back onto the pavement, knocking him unconscious. Courtney ignored it and kept rambling on, while Cody stood up to investigate Tyler's body sprawled across the floor. He poked his finger at Tyler's face, but he didn't even flinch. Cody shrugged and kind of kicked him out of the way.

I sighed, stood up, and walked over to Tyler. I grabbed his legs and lifted them off the ground, making Tyler's upper half roll over like a beached fish.

"Grab his arms" I instructed Cody. He did as told, and I walked backwards down the stairs to carry Tyler to the pool deck. 

We set him in a lounge chair next to a sunbathing Justin, and just kinda stared at the dude.

"What an unfortunate man" mused Cody, stretching out his back. I nodded.

"Karma will repay him one day"

Cody looked like a light had flickered on in his hypothetical attic.

"That's right, you're Hindu!"

I shook my head.

"Not in the least. I'm Indian, but I don't worship the Hindu Gods. It's irrational and rather time consuming" I shrugged, making Cody laugh.

"Sorry. I guess that was kinda racist"

I shrugged again, making him giggle. He took his sandals off and sat on the edge of the pool, dangling his feet in the water. I sat beside him, but kept all appendages out of the pool.

"We on again for Total Drama again tonight?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Yeah, but I think Tyler's a bit out of commision for the night, so it's just us" he laughed. I managed a friendly smirk at his comment.

"Fair enough"


	5. "Platonic" Play Date

Cody cracked open a third bottle of mountain dew.

"Isn't Justin supposed to be with us?"

I shook my head, crushing up my empty soda can and tossing it behind the couch.

"I invited his but he said today is his mud wrap day so he can't" I said, rolling my eyes at the dude's lack of masculinity. Okay okay, maybe I'm not one to speak, but at least I admit to being gay.

Total Drama ended about an hour ago, and Cody and I have been in my room watching Pawn Stars since. We were laying with our backs on opposite sides of the couch, and our legs tangled together in the center. It was way too hot for a blanket, so we both lay in T-shirts and shorts.

After Cody threw down his empty soda bottle and reached for his fourth, I stopped him.

"Woah little dude, think you can handle that much?"

He laughed and nodded his head, and grabbed the green can, popping it open, and pouring it down his throat.

I rolled my eyes and continued watching the TV program.

"If Owen were on this show, he'd fit right in" I pointed out bluntly. Frankly it wasn't that funny, but it was funny enough to make Cody laugh so hard that Mountain Dew bubbles came out his nose.

"Okay, that's enough Dew for you" I said, reaching over to take the bottle out of his hand. I poured what was left in my mouth and threw the empty container on the trashed floor. He stuck his lip out at me in a fake pout, but I just smirked.

"You'll be fine kid"

He rolled his eyes at me, laughing. Then he sat up and swung his legs onto the floor.

"Noah, we should do something"

"No, we aren't going to go get more Mountain Dew"

Cody turned his body towards me, my eyes fixed to the television to prevent myself from staring at him.

"No, I mean like an adventure!"

I reached for the remote and clicked off the TV.

"There's not really much we can do here"

"We can climb to the roof of the Playa and watch the sunset" he shrugged, picking up the empty bottles and can off the floor, throwing them towards the garbage bin, allegedly missing most shots and having the containers bounce across the room.

"That's one of the gayest things I've ever heard" I said cooly, stretching out my back.

"Then you haven't looked in the mirror, er, I mean, heard yourself.... damn, I tried"

I couldn't hold back my laughter on that one.

"Nice try buddy. Sunset roofing it is"

He grinned and dumped his collection of soda bottles into the trash can.

"I wonder who got kicked off tonight" Cody commented, sitting back down on the couch.

"Judging by the amounts of raging fits coming from Courtney, my bet's on Harold"

Cody shrugged, smiling slightly. When he wasn't trying to put on an act so people thought he was cool, he's actually a really genuine, attractive guy. Of course it saddens me slightly that he doesn't put on an act for me, but I'd rather him be comfortable with me and myself be friend zoned, than to hope for him to keep putting on a mask of fake confidence.

It tears him apart, and I know it. I've heard him sobbing at night through his bedroom door. I can see the hurt in his eyes. The 'Codemiester' is only a character, and the real Cody is just an actor. A terrible one, but an actor all the same.

\---------

"Okay, so you had a good plan and all Captain, but how are we getting on the roof?"

Cody had put on long jeans, and a maroon sweatshirt with Glacier National Park written across it. I, however, made the lousy decision to stay in my dark-wash jean shorts and the black Polo tee I've been wearing the last three days. There's a washing room by the infirmary, but I'm just so lazy that reusing the clothing just seems more practical.

"Worry not, Soldier! There's a closet with a ladder in it that Ezekiel showed me the other day. I mean, he fell off of it, but at least I know about it"

"So that's how he ended up in the infirmary. Makes sense" I shrugged.

Cody gestured towards the door of my apartment room and called out 'Onward!' with a little too much energy for someone who's about to watch a Canadian sunset from the roof of a building.

He led his army of one to a closet at the end of the hallway by the infirmary. Inside the closet was a rickety ladder that went through the ceiling. I followed Cody up cautiously, and crawled my way onto the roof of the Playa. The roof was just industrial cement with no walls or anything, which was quite underwhelming in comparison to the rest of the Playa. Cody sat a good distance from the edge in criss-cross applesauce mode.

"Come on chicken pants, sit on the edge with me" I smirked, swinging my legs over the side. I looked down at the pool deck below. There were a few people sitting down at the juice bar, but I couldn't tell exactly who they were.

After some think time, Cody joined me on the edge of the building. He sat far enough that it was comfortable, but close enough to be touching arms.

"Noah aren't you cold?"

I shrugged.

"It's Canada dude, this is summer weather"

He looked convinced and looked below at who I'm pretty sure are Katie and Sadie tossing a beach ball back and forth.

"Noah, so you know how you listed the hottest guys? How would you rate the girls?"

I had to give this some thought, because honestly I didn't think about it much.

"Bridgette is the hottest, then probably Courtney, Heather, Lindsay, Katie, Izzy, LeShawna, Gwen, Sadie, Beth, Eva"

The little dude thought about it for a few seconds. He opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it again and went back into thought.

After an awkward two minutes or so, he spoke up again.

"If I had to rate the guys it'd be Trent as the hottest, the probably you, Justin, Geoff, DJ, then I don't know, I'd say Duncan but he never struck me as attractive, so maybe Tyler, then I don't know. The rest I never really pay attention to" he rambled on.

I felt my cheeks flush. He thought me, a skinny ass brown sack of sarcasm, was the second hottest guy on the show. I mean, Trent's musical butt beat me, but the dude is pretty hot.

"I didn't know you put thought into the guys, Mr. Lady's Man"

He shrugged.

"I don't know, I guess talking to you made me think about it"

I laughed and looked over at him. His pale cheeks were flushed from the wind and his hair was blowing backwards softly. And it was something about that moment with his focused look, his soft hair, and the sunset behind him that made me think of how beautiful he is.

I know beautiful is supposed to describe pretty, bubbly bags of sparkly stupidity like Lindsay, but I feel like that adjective was the best one for how to describe the guy.

I felt the wind blow through my own hair and I realized how chilly I was sitting onto of the damn roof in the Canadian evening.

"Alright, time to head back inside" I said, standing up. I offered my hand to Cody who looked a little too scared to get off the side of the roof. He graciously took it, and squeezed it until we were a safe distance from the edge. Now I'm going to sound like a total girl right now, but the whole time he had my hand, I swear I was dying inside.

Anyway, after we got back to the warmth of the Playa, I headed back to my room expecting to crash, but Cody followed me in there.

"Need something dude?" I asked as he shut the door behind him.

"We should have a sleepover!" he proposed. I rolled my eyes.

"That happens at least once a week when you crash on my couch"

Cody laughed.

"I mean like one where we stay up and play truth or dare and drink soda and pull an all nighter!"

"I need my beauty sleep kid"

He rolled his eyes this time.

"Not like we have any obligations tomorrow"

And after about five minutes of arguing back and forth, I finally gave in. The reason I didn't want to have him over wasn't because I was tired, but more of the fact that when I get tired I don't think things through, and end up spilling things that shouldn't be said out loud.

Cody ran to his room to get his pajamas and blanket, and I went down to the kitchen to snatch a liter bottle of Pepsi. I know Mountain Dew is Cody's favorite, but I just can't handle the Dew.

\------------

"Dude, can't you just let me sleep now?"

Cody poured more soda into his mouth.

"It's only been an hour, and you spend 35 minutes of it working on your hair"

Hey, a faggot's gotta do what a faggot's gotta do.

"Fine. What do you want to do then?"

"Let's play Kiss Marry Kill!"

I raised a eyebrow.

"Don't you mean Fuck Marry Kill?"

Cody shook his head.

"This is the version I play. I seems a bit more, uh, comfortable"

I rolled my eyes, but I smiled at him.

"Fine. Courtney, Heather, and Bridgette"

Cody had to put some thought into this one. Likely, the dude never thought about anyone but Gwen.

"Marry Bridgette.... uh, kiss Courtney and kill Heather I guess"

"The world thanks you for it. Your turn"

He layed back against the wall. Both of us were sitting on my bed, but I'll probably kick him out when he finally lets me sleep.

"Tyler, Duncan, and DJ"

Okay, thank God he didn't put himself in there.

"Kill Duncan, marry DJ, kiss Tyler" I replied. He nodded and took another drink of Soda. At this rate, the dude might get drunk off Pepsi.

"Okay, how about Ezekiel, Harold, and Eva" I smirked, throwing him the three most repulsive things to ever touch Wawanakwa. Besides Chef's cooking maybe.

"Darn, probably marry Eva, I bet I could handle her. Kiss Harold, and kill Zeke"

"So you're saying you'd kiss a dude?" I teased.

"Eva's more of a dude than Harold anyway. But I guess I wouldn't be opposed to it. Can't be much different than kissing a girl"

"You've never kissed a girl have you? Your lips are virgins"

He nodded slowly, obviously embarrassed.

"I guess. I've never had a girlfriend either"

Okay now I just felt bad for the guy.

"Have you kissed anyone Noah?" he asked me, sitting up straight.

I nodded.

"I've had one boyfriend, a dude back in 9th grade. We kissed once"

"Ah" he muttered.

After that, the room filled with silence, surrounded by the raging of Courtney and the terrified screams of poor Harold.

"Now can we go to bed?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Fine" he said. He set the bottle of soda on the floor, and to my surprise, he layed down next to me and got under the covers.

"Whatcha doing there?"

"Sleeping" he replied, sounding confused. I was about to kick him out until I realized what a great opportunity this was.

Okay, okay, I know that sounded stalkerlicious, but I'm not going to rape him or anything. I'm just going to sneak in some cuddles.

"Fine. But don't kick me in your sleep or you'll wake up in the pool"

"Deal" he said, and rolled over to face the wall. I layed down and face the same direction so that if we were any closer I'd be spooning him.

That can be arranged.

But I kept it in my tight little pants and managed to fall asleep, to my dismay, without any physical contact with Cody.


	6. Beachhouse Burnout

I woke up the next day with a tired groan. Cody was still rolled over on his side completely asleep. I did my best not to disturb him when I got up, but me getting off the bed made him roll over, allegedly disturbing him. We met eye to tired eye, myself in my pajamas groggily sitting up, and him rolled over, not quite fully awake yet.

"God, sorry dude, didn't mean to wake you"

I did my best not to stare at him, but it was hard. His hair in the mornings is always very fluffy and childish, and his eyes are droopy and innocent. As much as I compare him to a child, I realize that's not why I admire him. I admire him because he is gentle, sympathetic, tolerant, and just genuinely beautiful. 

Genuine beauty is often taken for granted. People mistake beauty as people like Miss Bubble Boob and Justin who might be more feminine than me. And I'm gay as hell!

But if I had to choose between Cody and Justin, Cody would be the obvious answer because Mr. Male Model can't be deeper than a cereal bowl. Which is honestly quite the turn off.

Speaking of turn off, I had to haul ass to the showers before Cody managed to catch an eye full of my unfortunate boner. I mean, it's his fault really, but not like I'd tell him that. That would be a rather graceless way to tell him how I feel. Just imagine it.

"Noah you have a boner"

"Thanks for sharing Cody, but it's your fault it's there"

"Ex-squeeze me?"

"I mean, uh, I like you Cody"

"Oh"

Yeah, that'd be less than ideal.

By this time Cody had fully waken and sat up in my bed. I grabbed a key off the table in the front and walked down the the showers, erasing most signs of my being aroused. When I got back, Cody was gone, so he must've went back to his room leaving me to clean up his mess. Real kind of him. 

After I managed to straighten my room up to my personal liking, I went down for a breakfast smoothie, but upon entering the juice bar, the wafting scent of pancakes filled my nose holes. And to my surprise, there was some sort of breakfast party out on the deck. 

These people are total nuts, it's like 8 in the morning. But sure enough, there was music coming from the sound-system by the pool, and Tyler and Justin were dancing it up, one better than the other (poor Tyler kept falling into the pool).

"Noah, welcome to the Breakfast of Losers" Harold said with his hideous face expressing no emotion.

"Do you have to turn everything already uncool into something totally lame?" I spat, walking past him. 

Luckily for Harold, Courtney hasn't risen from her chamber of insanity yet, so he can be exposed to daylight without being hunted down. Although it's hard to take sympathy on him when he's constantly flapping his annoying-ass lips and digging himself a deeper hole with everyone he meets.

Anyway, the morning wasn't totally boring because Beth had been grilling pancakes all morning, so I was greeted by a stack of the only edible food I've had since I got here. Which I guess is a pretty good deal with the addition of shirtless guys dancing by the pool and the fact that I spend the whole night with Cody. I guess I really don't have room to be bitter this morning.

Once Cody made his way to the deck, he was immediately shoving pancakes in his mouth.

"Beth these are so good!" He squealed, syrup dripping off his chin. Owen was finishing of his 45th pancakes at that same moment.

"I agree!" He shouted with a mouth full, spraying pancakes bits onto Cody.

"And there goes my appetite" he said, setting his plastic fork down. As nice as this place is, Chris is still too cheap to get us real cutlery. But can I say I'm shocked? Not at all.

After I had my fill of pancakes and modern music, I shimmied my way back up to my room to turn on the trashiest reality show I could find, and cozy myself up on the couch. In my mind I felt like a snobbish princess who didn't care for the outside world, but in reality I am just a lonely loser who would rather watch forced relationships on TV than interact with anyone.

\-----------

Knock knock knock.

"Noah!"

Dammit I fell asleep again.

"It's open!" I shouted through the door, knowing it was Cody. He came in with wet, fresh-smelling hair and in a pair of jean shorts I had never seen him wear. He was also wearing a thin polo tee with one of those front pockets. As dorky as his outfit was, it was quite adorable.

"Sorry man, I didn't mean to wake you. I was just bored" he said, sitting down opposite me on the couch. I swung my legs down to make room for him.

"Well what am I supposed to do about it? Anything that can be done at the Playa has been done"

Cody shrugged, making his shirt cling to his bony chest.

"That doesn't mean I can't be entertained"

I rolled my eyes at him, making him wince only slightly before chuckling.

"I'm lucky if something can hold your attention for more than an hour" I snarked. This time he rolled his eyes.

"You're the same way" he accused, picking up one of my books from off of the floor. I took the book out of his likely syrupy hands and placed it in my lap.

"Am not. Give me a book, and it'll entertain me until I've read it, analyzed it, and read it again"

Cody shrugged again.

"I haven't read a book since like 8th grade"

"Don't they make you read books in English class?" I chuckled.

"Doesn't mean I read them" he smirked, trying to come off more bad-ass than it really was.

"Looks like we've got a rebel on our hands" I sneered. He laughed, and to my surprise, he laid down on the couch with me. His legs next to mine and our torsos overlapping, his over mine. 

I felt like I shouldn't breathe just to not disturb him, even though he wasn't sleeping or anything.

"Will you read to me?" he asked, handing me the book that was already in my lap. I held up the book to read the title.

"You want me to read you Animal Farm? You were supposed to read this freshman year!"

I was hoping the color in my face wasn't obvious, and it certainly didn't help that he nuzzles his head between my should and the couch cushion to get a better view of the book. Something about it was just really cute.

"Sure!"

"Dude this book is just an allegory for Soviet Russia" I stated, waving my copy of the book in the air in front of him.

Animal Farm is one of my favorite novellas from high school so far. I cared less for Fahrenheit 451, but To Kill A Mockingbird has been my favorite so far. Unfortunately, I couldn't find that one while I was packing, so I didn't bring it.

"I just want you to read to me while I nap" he said, doing the nuzzle thing again.

"You're such a kid" I muttered as I cracked open the cover of my worn book. About twenty minutes into the book, he had fallen asleep, his head wedged between me and the sofa. 

Instead of moving and letting him sleep, I kept reading out loud, for more my own entertainment than anything else really. But between the familiar words of the book and the warmth of Cody's body, I realized that for the first time since I started dedicating myself to school, that I am in my happy place.

\----------------

"I can't believe DJ got kicked off" Tyler murmured from the pool. I narrowed my eyes over my book and shot a Noah-patented glare towards him. 

"It was his fault for being a pussy" I spat, earning myself nasty looks from several other losers who were playing a severely interesting game of water tag.

"Don't get me wrong," I defended casually, "the guy's great, but he brought it on himself"

Cody was laying in a lounge chair trying way too hard to get a tan. Laying in the chairs next to him were Lindsay and Tyler. Lindsay had an admiration for Cody ever since he saved her and Trent from the quick sand, but she only gave attention to him when her lips weren't locked to Tyler's.

But this time Lindsay was sleeping in the sunshine, wearing her skimpy red bikini. And Tyler was in the chair next to her, but it was hard to say whether he was sleeping or unconscious again.

"Yo Noah, how's the book?"

I turned my head to meet the glittering eyes of Trent. After Trent got kicked off the show, he and Cody have done this awkward avoiding each other thing, so I was safe from his small talk whenever I was with Cody. Unfortunately, now is not one of those times.

"Fantastic" I replied sarcastically, but Guitar Hero didn't pick up on my tone.

"Awesome!" he replied, leaning back against the counter, earning him my trademark eye-roll. I didn't say anything to him in return, so our conversation ended there.

Unfortunately, the more Cody tanned, Trent talked, and everyone else arguing in some way or another, my frustration levels had reached the top. I went far enough to open my mouth, ready to scream, but I was interrupted by a roar erupting from the volcano that most people call Eva.

"You guys are a bunch of weak-ass wusses! Don't you have anything better to do than sit around a pool and play water frisbee?!"

The pool went completely silent and still. Everyone looked around and made sure they were a safe distance from Eva, who was standing at the edge of the pool.

"Looks like the boredom is finally getting to us..." I heard someone, probably Courtney, murmur. As insane as she is, what she said made sense to me. It's not like there's much to do here at the Playa, and being a loser really put a damper on things.

Courtney had gone over to Eva to try and calm her down, but she wasn't convinced and started yelling at Courtney for being a traitor.

"You all need to chill out. Seriously" I protested. I waded through the water to get to the pool deck and head up to my room. My room where the only sane person lives. And if that wasn't clear enough, it's me! I'm the only sane one in this whole competition!

As I stormed off I could hear several others following me, so I know I'm not the only one being a drama queen.

I marched my scrawny legs up the tile stairs and made my way down to my own room. To put the icing on this cake of a day, when I reached in my pocket to get my key, it wasn't flipping there.

"Good grief!" I yelled at the door, slamming my shoulder into it.

"Yo Noah, having some trouble?" I heard Harold say from down the hall.

"Good observation. Do you want a treat?" I spat, still knocking on my own door.

"Chill out man, I was gonna offer to pick the lock for you. I went to Criminal Steve's Escape Artist Camp last summer so I'm an expert in picking locks"

I swear if I rolled my eyes back any more I could see my own brain kill itself.

"Whatever, go ahead" I sighed, stepping away from the door. He pulled a hair pin and some sort of magnifying glass out of his pocket and started going to town on my door knob. Oh god that came out wrong!

Anyway, the dork actually opened my door, but made a run for it after he heard Courtney coming up the stairs.

As soon as I got in my room, I put my key into my pocket so I wouldn't have to resort to Harold again. Admittedly, I was having way more fun down at the pool than I would up here. But I'm petty so I had to make a scene and stick to my decision.

After considering the few options I had that could entertain me, I resorted to turning on the TV and burning myself out on this week's trash reality shows.

About thirty minutes later I was interrupted by a knock on my door. By this time, I had come familiar to the sound of Cody's knock, so I know it was him.

"Come in!" I yelled, too lazy to get off the couch. As expected, Cody came through the door carrying my book that I unknowingly left at the pool.

"You forgot this" he said quietly, setting the book on top of one of my stacks. He put it in the wrong pile, but I decided not to tell him that.

He looked especially pale and solemn, opposed to his usual optimism.

"Dude, what's wrong?" I asked him, hoping I was coming off with genuine concern rather than a sarcastic tone.

"It's just, Trent and Gwen.. and I know I set them up and all, and I want them to be happy, but..." he trailed off, and I worried he was about to cry.

"I'm a nice guy, I deserve a happy ending, don't I?" he finished. I looked at him, his head drooping and his posture slouchy.

"You'll get a happy ending. It just won't be Gwen" I said after a pause. Cody looked down and took a seat next to me on the couch. He sat close, but not too close.

"You'll get it when you aren't looking for it" I added calmly. And against my better judgment, I reached my arm up to put it around him. He probably wasn't thinking too much about me though, so I'm probably safe.

"You're right" he muttered, and he stood up. He walked towards my door muttering something like 'see you later', and slammed the door behind him.


	7. Slip Of The Tounge

I hesitated for just a second before I knocked on Cody's door. It'd been three hours since anyone had seen him, and Cody isn't really the kind of guy to go MIA. But I also didn't want to get on his bad side by interrupting his sulking time.

But I knocked anyway, and was answered with an unenthusiastic 'come in'.

"Cody, dude are you okay?"

I cautiously stepped into his room, trying to avoid the several mountain dew cans scattered across the room.

"I'm fine" I heard him say monotonously from the bedroom. All the lights were out in his room, which made it almost eerie. When I entered his bedroom, I saw Cody sitting on the edge of the bed, looking out the window at the pool deck below.

"Cody?" I whispered, drawing nearer to the boy. He didn't move or turn his head, and the only light was provided from the pool lights on the deck below.

"I'm glad she's happy" he said after a slightly awkward silence.

"Cody, Gwen is careless and cruel, and she doesn't deserve you"

I sat on the bed next to Cody. I sat really close. Close enough for me to put my scrawny-ass arm around him.

"If she's so undeserving, why does she get to live out happily ever after with Trent while I'm constantly fighting for her happiness without a lick of recognition or gratitude?"

I was shocked to hear that come out of little Cody's mouth. But it did.

After he left the words ringing in the air, he turned his head towards me, obviously expecting an answer.

"Remember when we were talking about Karma? Someday, you'll realize that you have something that made your efforts worth it. And Gwen? Perhaps one day she'll slave over someone else's happiness and receive nothing in return"

Cody turned away again.

"I'm too nice. If that happens, I'll only feel sorry for her" he mumbled. Each time he spoke, his back slouched a little more, making his head come closer and closer to my chest.

"She doesn't deserve your sympathy" I said. And then I took a chance. I drew his head into my chest and wrapped my arms around his boney shoulders. To my surprise, he leaned into the embrace, and twisted his head so his face was hidden into my sweatshirt.

From the gentle movements he was making, I could tell he was crying. I'm not too great at dealing with crying people, me not being exactly empathetic. So not knowing what to do, I just gave him a few pats on the shoulder and continued holding him.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but we did until his sobs started mellowing out and his breathing became calmer.

Once he had completely stopped crying, and wiped his tears on my hoodie for good measure, he sat back up and smoothed out his hair. He let out a breath of air, but didn't say anything. We both just sat there, looking into nothing.

"Feeling okay?" I asked after a while.

He nodded.

"Yeah," he croaked "thanks Noah. I didn't know you could be so, uh, comforting"

I shrugged.

"Once you have moments like this and realize no one cares, you become a bit more sensitive"

"My parents never comfort me. I don't have friends back home that have enough brains to understand emotions. I go through this by myself every time. But it's better when someone's holding you"

For the first time I can remember, I wanted to cry. Not because I was upset or it struck some sort of chord. But because that was the saddest thing I have ever heard.

"Cody?"

"Yeah?" He hummed, his voice cracking.

"After we leave the Playa, I'm going to give you my cell number. Then you will always have someone to listen to"

After I said this, I saw the childish gleam in his blue eyes flicker for just a moment.

"That is the nicest thing anyone's done for me"

He turns me into such a softie...

"You'll never suffer alone" I said, a smirk rising from the corner of my mouth. I don't know what I was expecting after that, but what I got was a big hug, that would've been a tackle if he wasn't so small.

"You're so kind to me Noah" he said, his voice muffled by my shoulder.

"That's what love does to someone like me" I said without thinking, but then I realized what I just said.

"Wait, what?" He asked, sitting up. He cocked his eyebrow questioningly, but not in a snide way.

"I, er, didn't mean to say that out loud" I stammered, reaching a hand to my head. God I'm an idiot.

"I.. I didn't know you felt that way" he said quietly.

"I'm sorry..." was all I could force out of my fat mouth. Cody looked at me with his giant eyes, but they weren't full of accusation or of mockery. If anything, he looked concerned.

"No, don't apologise," he said, forcing a friendly smile on his face "I guess it explains a lot"

I could feel myself blushing, but I was hoping the darkness of the room hid that for me.

"That obvious huh?" I asked

Cody shrugged.

"Not that obvious, unless I'm just really oblivious"

"Probably the latter" I chuckled awkwardly, tension still floating around the air.

"So," he said, filling the uncomfortable silence, "I guess it would be rude of me not to acknowledge your feelings" he stammered, his voice cracking.

"Don't worry about it Cody. I know you don't swing that way"

Then his eyes met my wandering ones, and for the first time, I saw a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"Just because I've never gone that way doesn't mean I won't" he smirked. Although, his smirk was more like a crooked smile.

"Are you saying you're gay for me?" I asked accusingly, trying to sound sarcastic, but we all know I want the answer.

"I'm not sure, honestly. I've thought about it before. I even had a dream about it once..."

He started going on about how in his dream we were in some crappy airplane going to Germany, and then in Germany we competed to stuff a giant sausage faster, and it started with me saying he has a tiny sausage and then we ended up making out after sledding on Owen down a mountain.

"Ooookay then" I chuckled.

"Oh yeah, I was answering your question. Well, uh, I don't know yet I guess. I'm not ruling it out for sure" he shrugged.

Honestly, that was way more than I was expecting. But to be fair, I wasn't planning on telling him in the first place so I'm not sure what I was expecting. But it wasn't this, and I can say I am pleasantly surprised.

"Thanks Cody, it.. it means a lot" I said, smiling, trying to lighten up.

"Well I don't want to be a Gwen" he said smiling.

"You know, for such a childish guy, you are really mature"

I looked into his eyes after I said this, and after I did I could see the thrill enter his irises.

"Really? That is the nicest thing I've heard anyone say to me" he beamed, his eyes widening like a puppy's might. I held in my feminine urge to giggle at his genuine adorableness.

But I didn't do anything. And he didn't do anything. We just kinda sat there in another increasingly awkward silence.

"So where do you want to go from here?" He cut in eventually.

As much as that question needed to be asked, I was hoping he wouldn't be the one to do so first. To be fair, I could've prevented it by asking it myself, but I'm a total wuss so it wasn't gonna happen.

"You should be asking yourself that question, Cody" I said, doing my best to not sound sarcastic. But I'm Noah Sterecra, so of course it was hard not to.

"Why me?" he defended, sounding almost nervous. He probably was nervous, and I can't blame him.

Yo dude, your best friend just admitted to being gay for you, but no pressure or anything.

"You don't have to make a choice Cody, but I know what I want, so as soon as you do too, you let me know"

I did my best not to sound harsh, but apparently I have no control over my tone, do who knows what the little dude heard.

"That's fair" he said softly, laying down across the bed, his legs swinging off the side.

"I know you didn't mean to tell me, but thank you anyway" he muttered, sounding sincere. At least he had control over what came it of his mouth. Impressively enough, I have heard some deep shit come it of his mouth tonight. Shit I wouldn't expect to come out of the guy.

A few months ago, this guy meant less to me than a hair on Owen's butt, and a few weeks ago, he was nothing more than minor company. And all the way until now, he's just been a shallow, childish wannabe. But now that I'm seeing him at his most venerable, I can see that the things that float through his head aren't that much different than what goes through mine. I mean, add dicks to mine and Gwen to his, that's where one of the many differences lie.

"You're welcome dude"


	8. Horror Of Heart

Unfortunately for me, the rest of the week didn't go as solidly as the previous night had. As soon as I realized what I had done, I banged my overly large head against a book so many times, I had a nice red bruise on my forehead.

This is what you get for breaking your own rules.

"I'm human," I whispered to myself "I have the right to love"

At what cost? Losing your best friend, reputation, and your mind?

"Shut up!" I whispered again, louder than intended.

With the internal conflict and the literal arguing, I was beginning to feel like Gollum from Lord of the Rings.

"We is in love precious, there's no going back for us now"

\------------

I pranced down the stairs to find the usual crew seated at the juice bar.

"What's up Noah?" Cody yelled at me, a grin spread across his face.

"Practicing for my next football game, how about you?" I sneered, taking a seat at the bar between Cody and Courtney. He laughed and swiveled in his seat to face me.

"I just heard Izzy got eliminated tonight" he said, taking a sip of the classically too-sweet lemonade.

"Lord have mercy on us" I muttered

"No kidding," Courtney butted in, "she's top notch insane"

"And you're one to speak," I spat backwards at her, "you're the one chasing Harold around with a pineapple on a stick"

I wasn't facing her, but I could practically hear her eyes narrowing at me. Lucky for me, and literally everyone else in the area, she didn't speak.

At about 7 that night, Izzy arrived at the Playa and had a great time terrorizing the shit out of poor Harold. Honestly, I'm shocked the dude hadn't committed suicide or something with the whole Courtney thing.

The pool deck area was now officially major chaos, so I booked it up to the safety of my room, and to no surprise, Cody followed me up.

"What's up short stuff?" I greeted when he closed the door behind him.

"I figured I'd escape before I became Izzy food" he chuckled, taking a seat on the couch.

"So you came to my room?"

I popped my hip out in a sassy manner that couldn't have looked anything but absolutely homosexual.

"I guess so" he grinned.

I took a seat next to him and pulled out Catcher In The Rye.

"Whatcha reading?"

Cody leaned across my lap to look at my book, but I didn't move at all, so he squirmed his way until he was completely sitting on my lap.

"This seat's taken" I muttered, not looking from the book, although it was a bit more difficult with the little dude all u in my business. Oh, how easy it would be to just wrap my arms around his skinny torso and pull him close to me. 

To be fair, it would be just as easy to wring his neck and throw him out the window into the pool, so I didn't act on any impulses.

"Noah can we go do something?" he groaned, obviously dissatisfied with the lack of attention I was giving him.

"We are doing something" I snarked, staring at the book, but not exactly reading it.

"I mean something fun!" he whined.

"I don't know about you but I'm having a bunch of fun"

Cody squirmed again, knocking the book out of hands.

"Fine," I gave in, "what do you want to do?"

"Swimmin.."

"No" I interrupted.

"Well, Trent and Justin are holding a movie night in the lounge in at 10" he said, scratching his arm.

"What's playing?" I asked, picking up my book and setting it on the table.

"I'm not sure" he shrugged.

"Fine, but I'm going to be grumpy tomorrow"

"You're always grumpy," he giggled "I'll meet you there"

\---------------

Holding off going out into the wild until absolutely the last minute, I left my room at 9:57 to head down to the lounge, taking my blanket and a can of Sprite.

Managing to get down a minute to the hour, I tucked myself into the tiny spot between Cody and Trent. I twisted my head around to ask Trent what they were playing.

"The Exorcist" he replied with that 'bad boy' smirk that he really can't pull off. 

"Oh no!" I heard Cody gasp from my other side.

"What's wrong man?" I asked, twisting his way

"I d-don't do horror movies" he replied, looking a good bit nervous.

"You'll be fine you chicken!" I teased.

"Chicken?! WHERE?" I heard Tyler yell, knocking Lindsay off the couch in his panic.

"Chill out bro" Justin consoled him, in more a frustrated tone than anything. The guy crawled out of his track suit turtle shell and took his seat back on the couch.

It seemed like most everyone was there. Courtney didn't make it, probably too busy pouting her too-tight pants off. Eva wasn't there, but no surprise. And Izzy and Beth were both gone, but no one was complaining. 

I turned around again to see Cody with a shocked expression plastered on his face.

"You'll be fine man" I said, patting his shoulder. He muttered a word of hesitant acceptance and snuggled up under his blanket.

Ten minutes into the movie, Lindsay screamed loud enough to knock out Tyler, Cody was completely hidden under the blankets, DJ had passed out, and Harold had peed his pants.

"Do you want to just go upstairs?" I whispered through Cody's blanket. I saw his head nod so I stood up.

"Sorry Trent, me and the lady are whomping out early" I apologized. I beckoned for Cody and he trailed behind me, wearing his blanket like a hood. I led him upstairs and to my room. Once he had shut the door, both of us had settled on the couch.

"You alright Code-meister?" I asked insincerely, smirking in my sarcasm.

"I told you I don't like spooky movies" he defended, his face looking slightly embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it kid, we can do something on our own"

"Like what?"

\--------------

I sat down on the side of the roof, looking down at the pool deck below. It was lit up, but completely empty.

After I convinced Cody to sit next to me, we sat in silence, breathing in the Canadian summer air.

"Noah, I've been thinking" he muttered, taking me by surprise. Not enough surprise to knock me off the roof, thank the Lord.

"About?"

He cleared his throat, and stuttered trying to find the best way to start whatever was on the little dude's mind.

"I think I'd be willing to give us a try" he stammered, his head facing away from me, and his feet swinging off the side of the building.

"Oh yeah?" Was all I could manage without completely losing my genuine, bona fide Noah composure.

"Yeah" he replied meekly.

Jesus Christ this is happening! Oh my God I'm an idiot! No, no I'm thrilled!

I'm a thrilled idiot.

"So I guess if we're going to do this properly..."

I grabbed his hand gently and held it between us.

"Cody Anderson, will you do me the pleasure of going out with me?"

Spoken like a true gentleman. Hell yeah I'm smooth.

"I will" he responded, grinning his gap tooth grin. And if I wasn't mistaken, his childish cheeks were flushed as well. Not like I wasn't red as firetruck though.

"Wicked" I laughed, trying to sound sarcastic, but my nasally tone ended up with me sounding like Jude from 6teen. He giggled in response, and looked away again.

\-----------

From the top of the Playa one could see every part of the small, cheapskate island Chris has us arrested to. But beyond that, one can see the beginnings of the dock where each of us first arrived, and one by one each of us will leave Camp Wawanakwa. There are currently six contestants left on that island, and one of them will receive one hundred grand in cash.

Unfortunately I no longer have this opportunity, but do any of those losers eating fish carcasses for breakfast get to call Cody their boyfriend?! Hell no!

Sorry Gwen, you had your chance.

"It's getting dark" I mentioned to Cody, who was probably half asleep.

"Yeah" he sighed, looking out beyond the Playa.

"Wanna head inside?"

Cody nodded, and stood up. I followed him down the ladder and back to the form hall. He stopped in front of my door.

"Don't you have your own room?" I teased half-heartedly.

"Yeah, but the exorcist, and the demons, and the dark" he whimpered like a four-year old wanting his mommy.

"Fine" I said, opening the door. He shut it behind him and immediately went into the bedroom to lay down.

After I went down the hall to the bathrooms, and changed into sweats, I laid down next to him. I suppose I didn't realize how tired I was until my big-ass head hit the pillow, but it didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

\------------

When I woke up, it was still completely dark and my eyes were still droopy, so it must've been the middle of the night. And it took me a while to register exactly what was going on when I saw a sleeping Cody rolled against the wall.

Once my brain was awake enough to remember why he was there, I felt my head get light and my vision go blurry for a moment.

I'm dating Cody Anderson.

That's right. I conquered my biggest hurdle: submitting myself to someone else.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not letting myself become soft or vulnerable or anything, I just have a partner in crime, per se.

I looked over at Cody, whose chest was riding up and down softly with each breath. His hair was ruffled against the pillow, and his blanket was wrapped around his shoulders like a burrito.

He looked absolutely cuddly, but considering he hadn't been together twelve hours, I decided against physical affection for now.

I laid back down and kicked the covers off of my overheating body. I rolled onto my right side for I was facing Cody, even though I couldn't see his face.

Being in bed with someone gives you an odd feeling of not being alone, but not being interactive. It felt more like being watched, so it made it harder for me to fall asleep the second time.

I rolled over to my other side and shut my eyes, and managed to clear my mind enough to fall back asleep to the unusual silence of the Playa.

\-----------------

I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked awkwardly down the hall to my own room. When I had woken up, Cody was still asleep, so I went to go take a shower.

When I unlocked the door to the room, he was sitting on the couch, surfing through channels. He cocked his head in surprise when I came through the door, and was slightly embarrassed to see myself wrapped in just a towel.

"Morning Cody" I hummed as I shuffled past him to get into the bedroom. I shut the door, even though it probably wasn't necessary, but I figured that like any relationship, it should be taken slow.

I decided it was warm enough for a T-shirt, but I still put on a zip hoodie on over it, just for comfort. I used the tiny, smudged mirror on the bedroom wall to groom my hair, and then joined Cody in the front.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked him, settling into the sofa. That was something boyfriends asked, right?

"Pretty good. I didn't have any nightmares this time" he replied, looking a little uneasy.

"Do you usually?" I asked with probably more concern than necessary.

He shook his head, but still had a vaguely disturbed look on his face.

"No, it was just the whole exorcist thing" he said, smoothing out his hair. He shook it out like a wet dog, and then ran his fingers across his scalp. I see a lot of guys do that, but I never do. I like my hair a certain way, and should anything ruin its order, it will bring out my inner bitch. I'm an outer bitch too, but my inner bitch is worse.

"Well good thing you're rested, because I'm taking you on a date today" I said without thinking. I don't know why I did; I had no plans and there really isn't much to do at Playa De Lame.

"Ooh, sounds fun" he responded enthusiastically. Perfect, now I have to find an appropriate first date at this tropical prison. Maybe I can ask one of the guys for ideas. Straight people are always great at being overly romantic.

"Cool, well if I'm going to get this planned, I'm going to have to ask you to leave" I offered in a suggestive voice, mostly for the humor of it. He obliged and left to go hang out at the pool, and I began to consider what I could do for the guy, but allegedly got distracted when Big Bang Theory came on the TV. 

To my newfound luck, the episode featured a romantic pairing going on a cheesy television date at a mediocre restaurant. 

But then, my gay, unromantic brain got an idea.


	9. Expose-ivo

"Where are we going?" laughed a blindfolded Cody. I had my hands on his shoulders to guide him through the cheaply carpeted hallways. I took a few detours, just to confuse him, so he wouldn't be able to guess where we were going. 

"Right, my intention was to blindfold you, and then tell you what's going on"

He chuckled.

"Right, sorry. I'll keep my mouth shut"

I led him around the pool deck and into the infirmary, and then back to the dorm hall, stopping right outside my room.

I tried to unlock it as quietly as possible, just for to milk the surprise aspect as long as possible. I led him into the room and sat him down on a wooden chair sitting in the middle of the room. In front of it was a table and a chair on the other side.

"You can take the blindfold off now"

I sat down in the chair across from him, and watched as his blue eyes beheld the empty, wooden table in front of him.

"Are we in your room?" He asked, looking around. I nodded.

"Hold on, let me get the actual date part"

I stood up and walked into the bedroom to grab a little basket that had tissue paper covering it's contents.

I brought it back out and set the basket on the table. Cody's eyes lit with curiosity.

"Open it" I requested, taking my seat again. He pulled out the tissue paper to reveal several boxes of candy.

"Candy!" he gasped, pulling the boxes out on the table.

"Yep. We're going to have a movie/candy date"

"Sweet! Then what's with the table?" he asked, still focused on the sweets.

"Mostly just to confuse you" I replied smirking.

I stood up and dragged my chair into the hall where it'd be out of the way. Once I had gotten Cody to get up and sit on the couch, I threw the other chair and table into the hall. If everything's going according to plan, Trent and Tyler will come take them back downstairs.

I sat on the couch next to Cody, comfortably not still close. Not like he was paying attention to exactly how close I sat next to him, even if he's wasn't making saucer eyes at his already open box of candy.

I reached across to the table to grab the remote and flicked on the TV. I had planned the day perfectly so that we'd be able to watch the alleged movie from the beginning. I don't know if he'd even seen Empire Records, but it was the only movie worth watching today, so that was that.

To be fair, we didn't spend much time actually watching the movie. And before you ask, no it was not because we were making out. We were just conversing and eating abundances of slightly stale candies.

During that time, we talked a lot about ourselves and our lives (or lack thereof) outside Total Drama Island.

I learned that he is an only child, and both his parents are attorneys at a high-end law firm. His parents don't make a lot of time for the little guy, so he's often home alone. He spends most his time practicing the piano or the keyboard and doesn't hang out with friends outside of school. His only two friends are both major dorks and are better friends with each other than with him.

When he asked about me, I avoided getting too deep into the story of my pretentious life, but I did tell him the shallow stuff.

"Woah, so if your parents are from India does that mean you speak Indian?"

I rolled my eyes and smirked.

"You mean Hindi, and only a little"

Cody found it more impressive than it actually was, even though it isn't really something worth celebrating.

What little I did tell him about myself, he listened enthusiastically and asked questions in which I answered vaguely and without detail. 

After our conversations ended with the awkward pause of running of things to talk about, we sat back to watch the last ten minutes of the movie. During our conversation, we had moved closer together, so I took the small, yet nerve-wracking step to grab at his hand. It was an awkward reach that ended with me grabbing his thumb only, but I adjusted it to make our fingers lace together.

It was nice. My long fingers fit perfectly with his small bony ones. It feels as satisfactory as when you put the last piece of a puzzle in place. I don't know if he felt the same thing, but it probably wasn't a bad feeling for him, since he smiled and locked eyes with me.

I know, it's way too early in the relationship to be kissing, so I stopped myself before I leaned in. I couldn't tell if he wanted me to kiss him or not, as this was one of the few times I couldn't read him like a well-written classic novel. I guess I can't get too cocky, because I honestly didn't think he'd be willing to go out with me in the first place.

"I'm really glad I agreed to this Noah" he grinned, probably intending to sound smooth but his voice cracked and his toothy grin looked more childish than seductive.

"Me too" I replied, reflecting his smile (of course in a more Noah-ish way).

There was a slightly awkward pause, filled with him and I just locking eyes. The silence was broken with a random change of subject, courtesy of Cody.

"So, who do you think is gonna win?" he asked quietly.

"Heather," I replied bitterly, "she seems to know what she's doing"

Cody shrugged and sparked his feet against the couch tenderly.

"I was pretty sure Courtney was gonna win, but now I'm thinking it might be Heather too"

I nodded silently, staring at the floor. Admittingly, I was getting pretty bored of the whole, movie/small talk scene and wanted to do something a bit more comfortable, but Playa De Boring offered no such activities. Although, Cody seemed into it, and I guess that's the point.

\--------------------------

There was a knock on the door.

"Noah?" A concerned voice yelled through the door. Cody was asleep, his head laying on the couch arm, and his legs lay across my lap. I carefully crawled from under his sleeping body and stumbled tiredly to the door. I opened the door to see Izzy holding back a fit of laughter.

"Okay, what?" I snarled at her.

She giggled wildly and pointed to Cody laying on the couch.

"I knew you guys were together," she accused crazily, "you were the only two not at Justin's party"

I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever. Bye Izzy" I said flatly, trying to close the door, but instead the chick managed to slink into my room, the door closing behind her proud self.

"So we're you two doing the sex?" She grinned

I was taken aback by her question. Even among us roudy teenagers, that question was usually deemed inappropriate and rude.

"Excuse me?" I asked, sounding more gay than intended, but whatver, I'm gay as hell, she can deal.

"You heard me" she countered, still sporting her insane smile

"Oh yeah. We screwed so hard that I killed him. Cody's dead, R.I.P"

I tried herding her towards the door but she kept bouncing around me.

"You guys are totally dating" she said in a sing song voice that made my ears want to commit suicide.

"We are NOT," I emphasized, growing impatient, "now get out of my room and go harass anyone else"

I opened the door and gestured sharply for her to leave, in which she obliged, but still had a proud smirk on her face that made my blood boil.

During that argument, Cody hadn't even stirred and was still sleeping peacefully. Part of me wanted to carry him to my bed since I knew he'd be uncomfortable on the couch, but the lingering gentleman in me new it would be better first date etiquette to bring him back to his room. I did have to fish in his pockets for his key (Not that I'm complaining, that's one heavenly ass), and carry him to his own bed.

I had only been in his room a couple times, since we usually hang in mine, and it was quite obvious he wasn't expecting anyone either. His room was littered with laundry and random fidgets. In fact, the mess got so thick that I had to just set him on the couch instead of playing dodge the boxer briefs on the way into his bedroom. 

Of course, I couldn't help myself but offer him a goodnight kiss on his forehead. His body quivered slightly with each breath he took, like it was trying to wake up, but it had just been too worn out.

I set his key on the living room table, and stepped around all his crap to get back to my own room. Except there was one obstacle in my way.

Izzy.

She was standing in the doorway holding one of those old Polaroid pictures. When we locked eyes, she pulled a picture out from her pocket, displaying the exact moment my lips made contact with Cody's forehead.

"Here's the evidence" she growled darkly. I could feel my cheeks getting hot and my eyes narrowing. She must've seen the anger in my face, because she quickly ran down the hall laughing like a maniac. I could hear her shouting from the juice bar downstairs.

"Noah and Cody are kissing!"


	10. High Demand

Flash forward, we're at the finale of the season. It's come down to Owen and Gwen because apparently the obese and the goth are superior species. Of course, I would've loved to view this finale of Underdogs from the joyful uncomfort of the Playa, but Chris has demanded us losers to go back to the hell he calls Wawanakwa and watch it live. Most people wouldn't complain about a day trip to the island to watch the action, but it's Chris we're talking about, so there has to be a catch.

Oh yeah, and when Izzy started telling everyone Cody and I kissed no one believed her, but people still send skeptical looks when we get a little too friendly in public.

Anyway, they boated us all back to Camp WawaKillMe, and then requested we divide between Team Owen and Team Gwen. And because I have at least some morals, and standards of course, Team Owen it is. And surprise surprise, Cody chose Team Gwen.  
I tried not to show any anger or resentment on the outside, but I was a bit pissed he chose that goth freak over Owen.

I pretended to be interested in whatever Chris was torturing them with, but my eyes kept drifting back to Cody, who was cheering for Gwen enthusiastically.

Maybe he was putting on a show for the cameras.

I wanted to believe it, but I'm smarter than that. I know that face he makes when he looks at Pastey Pants over there. It's the look of pure infatuation and blinded admiration. It's a different look that he expresses than when he looks at me...

"Noah dude, are you alright?" Geoff, who was sitting to my right asked quietly, waving his arm in front of my face. Generally, I hate when people do that, but Geoff always took me as a nice guy. Plus, the dude's hot, so I let it slide.

"Definitely. In fact, coming back to this island is the icing on my cake of joy" I replied sarcastically. Geoff seemed a bit hurt at my careless response, so I gave a quick smile.

"I'm fine, thanks" I muttered, turning my head towards Chris, who was walking up to the stands where all the losers were separated. He started explaining the challenge that Gwen and Owen would have to complete for the crappy reward. At this point, it didn't feel like the million was worth spending a summer in hell. In fact, Izzy has a theory that Chris is actually a secret sponsor for a trauma centre, and is using this show as an excuse to send all of us to the centre to get money out of our families.

As much as I have no respect for Izzy, it's not something I'd hold past Chris.

Anyway, the challenge was something of a race/obstacle course, which after hearing that, I immediately lost any interest I had previously. After the race started, Izzy and Geoff ran to help Owen up some sort of flag pole. And surprise, surprise, Trent was stapled to Gwen's side.

Actually, Gwen didn't seem to enjoy Trent's company. Or maybe she did, but was reluctant to accept it. But now that I think about it, she was still upset after he smooched on Heather. I'd like to say I feel bad for both Trent and Gwen, but my sympathy glands don't work for people that I don't like. Or people that my boyfriend is inappropriately attracted to. Either way, the drama going around with everyone taking sides is always interesting. Well, interesting until I get dragged into it. At least once a day Sadie asks if I'm 'Team Gwen' or 'Team Trent'. I always respond with 'Team Get Out Of My Face You Pudgy Pillow Sack', or something along the lines of a typical Noah comeback.

As the competition started getting more difficult for the two finalists, my interest started to peak. I actually found myself getting into it more than I thought I would, to the point where I'm cheering out loud, non-sarcastically, for Owen to get his ass off the ground and across the finish line. Perhaps I legitimately want Owen to win, or maybe I just can't stand the thought of Gwen winning a huge fortune to blow on eyeliner or whatever.

Owen was trying to crawl toward the finish line, but it just wasn't getting him further than Gwen and her boulder-slinging boyfriend. I had heard Izzy talking about a plan to pull him ahead, but I didn't think she was being serious until she brought out a giant platter of fresh brownies, then I knew she actually had a sane brain cell in her.

Izzy cued for a fan to blow the scent of the brownies toward Owen, instantly motivating him. And boy, that guy can move when tempted with food.

Before I had time to stand up and cheer, the whole area was full of teenagers screaming about Owen's underhanded victory. And as thrilled as I am about his win, and the season being over, I'm just ready to go back to the Playa and pack up to go back home. I assume I'll swap numbers with Cody to keep in touch, and maybe a couple of the others whom I'll probably text once and then never reply to again. But I guess I'll kinda miss it, if not, I know I'll miss Cody.

\----------------------

"This party is awesome!" Owen shouted, shaking water from his blond mass of hair, drenching me in it.

"Right. It really screams a hundred-thousand dollar value" I smirked, but in a friendly way, because I can secretly enjoy myself at events like this, as long as I have my respective space.

Cody was over partying it up with DJ, LeShawna, Tyler and Lindsay by the pool. He must've given up on trying to third-wheel with Trent and Gwen who were sitting by the pool looking judgemental of everyone having a good time. I mean, it's the pot calling the kettle black, but it just grinds my gears.

I confided in to Owen about my relationship with Cody and my hate for Gwen and Trent and Izzy and... well pretty much everyone else. He keeps telling me I only despise Gwen because of Cody's attachment to her, but I've hated her even before I knew Cody so I guess it's just little old hateful me.

"Enjoying yourself Turkey Leg?"

I turned around to meet the blazing black eyes of LeShawna. I would normally be threatened by her large physique, but the shock of her talking to me at all trumped that.

"Oh yeah, I..." I had to stop myself from saying something sarcastic, just in case she wants to take out her fists.

"Yeah, I'm having fun" I said monotonously, desperately trying to get out of the conversation. I earned a hum in response, and she moved on to harassing Harold who enjoyed her overlarge company.

I managed to make small talk with Eva, who gives my nervous system ticks, but it was better than watching Cody talk to everyone but me. But this oh-so pleasant conversationwas interrupted by my favorite man in Canada, Chris McCheapass.

"Who wants a second chance at the money, but this time for one million dollars?!"

F*ck.


	11. Fights, Camera, Action!

You know you're screwed when you have to submit to last resort and pair yourself with the two most difficult contestants on the show. Okay, working with Courtney might be worse, but apparently Duncan's into that so who am I to judge?

Regardless, Izzy had finally roped me in to being on a team with herself and Eva. Only after I noticed Cody had previously formed an alliance with DJ, Owen, and Tyler. Sure, I'm jealous, but given that our goal is for now a million dollars, perhaps having no distractions of romance is for the better.

\----------------------

Izzy had a plan.

"Okay, okay, so we're going to break into Chris's recording room, find out where he hid the mil, and then use this taser to shoot anyone who tries taking the money from us"

She held up a taser gun. I jumped back a bit, and Eva slapped it out of her hand.

"No bitch. We're doing this with pure fists"

Eva was getting worked up.

"Woah woah," I cut in "Pure fists or not, you're both pure crazy"

This was not helping Eva calm down. In fact, her knuckles were inches away from my nose. Izzy was just cackling from behind her. It reminded me of when I was five and my dad had taken me to see Macbeth in the park across the street. Yep, Izzy laughs like a Shakespearean witch. Outta put that on her resume.

Okay, we eventually settled on having no strategy and just running at it. Lack of strategy has to be my pet peeve, but I didn't really get a voice in the vote. Maybe they're racist against Indians, maybe my opinion was unvoiced because my face was in Eva's armpit. The world may never know.

"So no taser?" Izzy pleaded. I shook my head, and Eva shook her fist.

So we hid in silence, waiting for the right time to grab the million and get the hell of this godforsaken island.

\-------------------

"I expected more out of you Eva"

I didn't have to look at her to see her face burning with anger.

"I said I'm sorry. Like you weren't distracted by Justin's hotness too gay boy" she growled.

"I...uh" I stuttered, not having a good come back to 'gay boy' due to it's accuracy.

Izzy was ready for a real battle now. Her teeth were dripping in disgusting, foamy saliva.

"Okay okay, I've come to the conclusion that I'm willing to commit murder for the money" Izzy muttered darkly.

"Well if you do, the million dollars should pay for your release" I snarked. She ignored my sarcasm and growled at Katie and Sadie who were walking by. The girls screamed at the pitch of a dog whistle and ran as far as their unathletic bodies could take them.

Over the childish screaming, there were sounds of arguing from what seemed to be the dock of shame. Eva and I exchanged a glance and started sprinting towards the dock, with Izzy charging behind us yelling some sort of obnoxious battle cry.

By the time we reached the cabins, pretty much every camper was chasing whoever had the money. And us being the animalistic idiots we are, couldn't help but join the stampede.

Izzy had jumped on someone's head (maybe Tyler's?) to get ahead in the crowd, leaving Eva and I in the back.

\-------------

So after that mad house, it turns out no one won the god forsaken money after all. And just as we were packing up to finally go home, I remembered something.

Chris had announced a second season.

But immediately after, I remembered something a little more reassuring.

I'm not competing in the second season.

I shoved the rest of my shit in my bag and hauled ass to the front of the Playa.

"Where are you going Nolan?"

I whipped my enormous head around to respond to Lindsay who was standing in her revealing red bikini.

"I'm going home" I said flatly, emphasizing the frustration with her pure stupidity.

"But what about Season 2?" She whined.

"I'm not on Season 2!" I snapped back at her, making her lip tremble. Before I could feel bad, she walked away.

"All contestants who are not participating in the second season meet me at the bar, pronto!" Yelled the intercom.

Please just kill me.

My head rang all the way to the now sticky juice bar. There were a bunch of contestants that weren't going back for season 2, all of whom were slinging a bag over their shoulder or wheeling around a suitcase.

Right at the head of the mob stood king Douchebag himself. He cleared his throat dramatically before speaking.

"We're not letting you go home just yet"

I think I actually felt my will to live drop just a little bit.

"Why the hell not, McClean?" Roared Eva with a twenty pound dumbbell in hand.

"We still need you all to appear in our peanut gallery for our new behind the scenes show, The Aftermath!" Chris announced. There was a mixture of confused muttering and outright swearing from the group of rejects. I'll let you decide which reaction I participated in.

"You've got to be kidding me! First, I get booted unfairly, and now I have to stick around to have it rubbed in my face!"

Cody and Eva managed to grab Courtney before she lunged towards Chris.

"It's just showbiz baby" Chris replied cool while taking a gander at his fingernails.

I swear the energy Courtney was radiating out of anger could light my whole damn house.

"You will be hearing from my lawyers" she steamed, throwing her little black duffle bag at Katie, knocking her into me. I shoved her off me and backed up.

"Whatever. I'm going back to my room to unpack" I snarled and started going up the stairs.

"Not so fast Noah"

It's Chris. There had to be a catch.

"What" I said flatly, crossing my arms just for emphasis.

"You aren't staying here anymore. We found you a new place to stay near the set of Total Drama Action"

"Of course you did" I sighed, marching myself back to the group who are just as unpleased as I am.

"Let's go campers" Chris beckoned.

And we followed.

\---------------

The trip to our new home consisted of a shitty bus ride, a shitty plane ride, and a shitty walk to ice the cake.

In all honesty, this place made Playa Des Losers look like an Imperial Russian palace.

It might as well have been a crappy, run down motel that was closed for safety concerns. And actually, the more I looked at it, the more it seemed logical.

It was small, so Chris put us two to a room, putting me either with Zeke, Tyler, or Cody.

So Cody it was, sticking poor Tyler with Ezekiel.

If I had to describe the motel, the first word that comes to mind is "grey".

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of boring, undistracting grey. But this place not only looked like it was last renovated in the late 1800's, but also made your eyes want to kill themselves.

In the room Cody and I were sharing, it was basically just a standard hotel room with two beds, a TV, a window, and one of those mini-kitchens. The sheets, the curtains, the wallpaper, it was all a dull grey.

There was also a lobby. When Cody and I went to check it out, it was a lot cooler than what I was expecting. There was a ping pong table, recliners, a flat screen TV playing the Hockey game, and a large kitchen.

Behind the lobby there was a teeny tiny pool with an even tinier hot tub. Tyler had beat the crowd to it, and almost immediately hit is head on the side of the pool.

Really, the place altogether wasn't more impressive than the cabins from Wawanakwa. The only nice part was that I could finally get some alone time with Cody, a luxury I haven't had since before Chris's crappy finale.

Somehow, sharing a room with Cody gave me a feeling of comfort, rather than typical teenage lust. But then again, Cody didn't have gigantic jugs hanging off his chest.

He isn't as much sexy as he is adorable. I don't feel the desire to bang his large intestines into his stomach 24/7 (admittedly, every once in a while I do). Our relationship is more fluff than anything really, but I think we both like it that way.

\--------------

Fugly sweater vest, in the closet. Ratty T-shirt, in the closet. Collared button-up, in the closet.

Everything was in the closet, except for me. (That's a gay pun. I'm making a joke about me being openly and obviously gay. It's funnier when you explain it honey.)

Cody had yet to hang his clothes in the little closet by the bathroom door. One thing I like about this place is the private bathrooms. It had been so long since I've peed without another man being able to hear it.

After all my crap was organized, I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but it happened and I regret nothing. But after I woke up, Cody was in the room quietly watching the Oiler's game on the TV. I looked over at him. It had been a few days since I've gotten a good look at him. He was wearing a baseball tee and Jean shorts. His hair was messy and stuck up in the back. He had a few zits on his jawline.

I guess he didn't realize I was awake until I said "Hi" and waved at him. I can guess this because I had frightened him, making him kick his legs and gasp.

"I just got my beauty sleep, I shouldn't be looking so scary" I joked. He snickered and smoothed out his hair.

"You look just as hot as ever"

I smiled at his compliment, then stood up to go to the lobby.

With Tyler bedridden from a concussion, Courtney constantly on the phone with her gay-ass lawyers, and Zeke hiding out in his room, probably living off rats under his bed, the lobby was pretty empty. There were only eight of us who didn't make it to Season 2, but I seemed like none of us could really care less except for Courtney and the lovesick Tyler who was missing his pair of walking, talking breasts.

Eva and Sadie we're playing a game of ping pong while Katie was a cheerleader. Eva was expectedly creaming Sadie like coffee.

I took a seat in a leather recliner and watched the match until Sadie running after a ping pong ball was no longer funny. After that, I just went to watch the Oilers with Cody. It was really all I could do, since Chris still wouldn't let us bring our cell phones. He claims the signals "Make his skin break out". Bitch.

You never really know how sad your life is until you realize that ping pong and television are all you can do in life. And I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for auditioning for this nightmare in the first place. My only redeeming factor is the saving grace of Cody Jameson Anderson.


	12. Brawl Over The Bra

"Noah I need to talk to you"

It took me a minute to register what he was saying. I put my book down gingerly and looked the kid in the eye.

"Hm?"

"Are you still, like, interested in me?" He asked. He was avoiding eye contact and playing with a folded piece of paper in his hands. I could feel my heart skip a beat when he said that.

"I, uh" I stuttered, not really knowing how to respond. I let myself think for a moment.

Am I still interested in Cody?

Yes, of course I am. If he wasn't here I'd surely have drowned myself in the puny little pool.

"I am, Cody. Why do you ask?"

He looked down at his shoes.

"You just seem to not want to be with me anymore" he muttered.

"That's crazy" I replied hastily. I didn't really know how to sell it to him, but I'm being completely honest.

"If you say so" he muttered, seemingly unconvinced. He stood up and took a step towards the door. He might've gotten to the door if I hadn't stopped him by pulling him into a hug.

"I love you Cody" I breathed.

I couldn't see his face, but I could feel it light up.

"I love you too Noah"

If I hadn't been sleep deprived and infuriated about our living conditions, it wouldn't have happened, but because I'm so damn out of it, I leaned in to kiss him. Instead of him running away cowardly, his lips met mine.

They were dry, but not chapped. They were warm and tasted like the Mountain Dew he snuck into our room even though I told him not to.

I admit, it was awkward. I had never kissed anyone before. I'm not sure if I was supposed to hold my breath or like grab his butt or something. I decided I was not supposed to breathe while mid-kiss, so by the time we parted, I was slightly breathy.

After that, he flashed me a toothy grin and announced his departure to the swimming pool, leaving me alone in our room. I took the opportunity to open the little fridge in the mini-kitchen. It was empty, save Cody's secret stash of Mountain Dew. There was a little corner store across the street from the motel, but none of us had cash, so we were living off the basic bitch hotel food. I have no idea where he got all his Dew from, as the hotel only has a cheap fountain machine.

I grabbed one out of the fridge and cracked it open, plopping down on my bed. I thought about what kissing Cody had felt like. It felt like that moment you reach the top of the roller coaster, and the ride pauses for a minute before dropping, and right in that moment, you feel your heart preparing to do that pounding thing. That's what it felt like. It felt like that suspension in the roller coaster. Admittedly, I hate roller coasters and fully believe they are time bombs of sick, but analogies are important to me, just roll with it.

I was mid thought, trying to think of if I was going to take a nap, read a book, or jump out the window when there was a knock on my door. Before I got to it, I heard an enthusiastic voice coming from it.

"Yo party dude! Guess who's back at the Playa!"

Did Geoff get kicked off already? I opened the door to see Geoff and his surfer sweetheart.

"Oh, hey Nolan..."

"Noah" I corrected him flatly.

"Noah, that's right, sorry. Where's Cody?"

I have no problem with Geoff, he's just too energetic for me. Nor is he the sharpest knife in the drawer, which irks me more than anything else.

"He's at the pool" I responded through clenched teeth.

"Cool!"

And like that, Geoff and Bridgette flashed gigantic, bright smiles and left. I just don't get how people have that much energy, especially in a place that just sucks the life out of you all the time. Bridgette's nowhere near as bad as Geoff, but I don't know either of them very well. To be fair, I never really got to know anyone here very well, Cody included. Which is really rather selfish of me, but I could care less about most the people here. If I had any interest with mingling with the common folk, I'd have stayed home for the summer and spent it at a sports camp or something.

I clicked on the television, which was playing a Lord Of The Rings marathon. As much as I love literature, I've never been a fan.

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to go down and spend some time with the people I'm already stuck with. It wouldn't hurt, but God I don't want to. After the Playa of season one, I learned pretty fast that the more time I spend with the other ex-contestants, the more I want to run myself over with a Japanese bullet train. But honestly, I couldn't hide out here forever living off microwave popcorn and shitty Mountain Dew.

So I sigh dramatically, force myself on my cramping feet, and left the room without bothering to lock it (mostly out of laziness, but also because I'll eat my own boxers if Cody actually remembered his key).

\-----------

Not gonna lie, it's not near as bad here as the Playa. To be fair, my expectations have been rapidly decreasing as this damn show goes on. But most everyone here isn't really that bad. Except Courtney, she's horrible. But she was still trying to sue her way back on the show. She's probably spent more money on lawyers than she would actually win from the show.

As it turns out, Geoff and Bridgette were asked to host an after-show or something along those lines. Which sounded like a fantastic idea until I learned I would have to be on it too. All the losers would have to participate for no real reason other than extra views, which really only benefits McClean, but there's really no point in complaining about it.

After hearing the news that I'd be on the show again for The Aftermath starting tomorrow, I left the large communal kitchen, and went to the pool deck. It was usually the same people who occupied the pool: Tyler (when he wasn't unconscious in bed), Eva, Geoff, Bridgette (often attached to Geoff by the lips), Cody, and Izzy (who is usually the reason Tyler is unconscious). However, only Cody and Tyler were there, playing a game of water basketball. I sat on plastic lounge chair a good distance from the splash zone, and just watched.

Cody is like a chicken wing. He's so scrawny that you can see his bones. But he was scrawny in a sexy way. There was something about the way he moved his body around that was sexy and confident, but his exposed ribs were adorable and childish. When his hair is wet, he slides it back so it doesn't drip in his face, and it makes him look older and more mature than when it's fluffy and hanging over his forehead. But I've decided I like it when it's dry better. It screams Cody more than anything else.

\----------

I could feel sweat beads on my face sitting in the cramped seats next to all these people I don't like that much anyway. The sweat wasn't really from the others, it was from the bright stage lights. It made everyone look washed out and shiney, which made me nervous for some reason. Being in the Total Drama Aftermath studio was much different from being on the Island. There were twice as many cameras and boom mics, and people running around backstage. There were people in the dressing rooms that made us change back into the same clothes on the island and then seated us in what's being called the 'Peanut Gallery'. I was sat between Cody and Ezekiel, who was going to work on his nose.

The Peanut Gallery was introduced by Bridgette.

"They may be losers, but not in our book!" In her television voice. Everyone has a television voice, but Bridgette's is especially vexatious.

Bridgette continued to introduce each of us by name, along with playing a clip of us from last season. Cody's was him getting hit in the junk with a dodgeball for Gwen. I hadn't realized that had happened, because that was the day I gave up completely on the show.

When Bridgette had said my name, the clip of me kissing Cody on the ear on the second episode played, and I felt my face flush with embarrassment. However I pretended not to notice, and just smiled and waved.

Geoff and Bridgette continued rambling about the current season. Izzy had been escorted back to the green room with Trent so they could be introduced separately. It was admittedly nice not to deal with Izzy. But it reminded me that Trent's coming back with us, so lucky me, I get to hear his Gwen-sobbing. Like I don't already hear it from my own boyfriend. My thoughts were interrupted when Izzy was brought on the stage to by interviewed.

"So Izzy," Geoff coughed, "How did it feel being the first one voted off the show?"

"I don't know Geoff, how did it feel?" Izzy said with a smile. A shudder of realization poured on Geoff's face as he froze with embarrassment. I got more entertainment out of it than I'd care to admit really.

After a game of 'Truth Or Hammer', a lover's spat between Geoff and Bridgette, Izzy had everyone pick either Team Trent or Team Gwen. When it got to Cody, I knew for sure he was going to pick Team Gwen, but what came out of his mouth horrified me.

"I'm definitely Team Gwen. She's hot, and I have her bra"

Cody had pulled a black, lacy bra out of his front pocket, and dangled it in the air for the camera to see. Where the hell did he get that?

I have no idea what my face was doing in that moment, but I was trying to smile while the camera could still see me.

I just couldn't believe it.

I get it, okay. Cody has a humungo-crush on Gwen, but he keeps her bra in his pocket? While he's in a relationship with a man?

I've heard him talk about Gwen nonstop since he got voted off Total Drama Island, but this was too much for me.

\---------

"I was playing it up for the camera Noah, you need to trust that I wouldn't have eyes for anyone but you!"

Cody was on the verge of tears, but I didn't care.

"You probably have that damned bra in your pocket still, don't you!" I accused, but because I knew it was true.

He shamefully pulled it out of his pocket, unfolded it, and held it in his hand.

"Noah, let me show you how much this bra means to me"

With every word he said, I became more and more infuriated. We were in our room, right after getting back from the Aftermath. I had waited until we were alone to start a fight.

Cody, to my surprise, had walked over to the window. I wasn't sure what he was about to do, but I wasn't expecting him to open the window and drop the bra through the opening. He closed the window up confidently, and turned around to face me. My face was hot with anger, but I was done shouting.

"Get out" I ordered flatly.

"Noah, this is our room, as in both of..."

"I said get out. Go stay with Trent. You guys will have something in common"

Cody started to cry for real this time.

"I want to stay with you, you're my boyfriend" he pleaded.

"Not anymore. Take your things and go"


	13. God-Forsaken Forgiveness

I spent the next few hours regretting having exploded at Cody. I had told Cody to pack, but he didn't. He left the room quickly, in obvious and miserable tears. My first instinct was to follow him, and I want to say that I did, but I didn't. My idiotic head of mine was too flooded with anger and regret and jealousy to move, so I had been left in the same position, pointing toward the door, unable to convince my muscles to relax.

I knew Cody eventually had to come back for his things, and I can't explain why, but the last thing I wanted was to be here when he did.

Maybe he was giving me time to cool my jets so we could have a more reasonable conversation. I'm still debating whether I want that or not.

After what felt like hours, and what was probably seconds, I put my arm down and collapsed on the bed. I wasn't crying though, I was just reliving why exactly I was mad.

You know how sometimes you get so caught up in the action that you forget what started the drama in the first place? That's what had happened. It's my fault for being too damn stubborn.

\---------

Cody did come get his things eventually, and while I was technically in the room, I was asleep. It was a very emotional sleep, as I had been dreaming of something I can't quite remember. It's that kind of thing where you can't recall any specific events in the dream, but you remember how it made you feel.

Well it didn't make me feel very good.

When I woke up, everything Cody-owned was gone, and the only proof that he had ever been here was his messy, unmade bed, and a small note on my own nightstand.

When my eyes crossed paths with the little paper, I immediately looked away, as if it contained information I didn't want to know.

For reason unknown, I didn't want to seem to eager to read it. Like a fear of seeming too caught up on Cody. Which was ridiculous considering I was alone. But it was almost like I was trying to convince myself.

I did allow myself to wake up completely before reading the paper. It was written in crude handwriting and had several scribbles on it where the writer had changed their thoughts.

Noah,

You have every right to be mad. If you let me explain it's not as bad as you think I'm being completely honest. Please?

Come to the conference room tonight at 8:30 and we can talk. If you don't show up I'll just assume you don't want to talk.

I'm so sorry,

Cody Anderson

I was still deciding if it was a good idea or not to talk to Cody when there was a knock on the door. I didn't want to open it. But I did. I don't need to make anyone else upset today.

I opened the door without looking through the foggy little peephole. It was Trent.

"Hi?" I said, not meaning to make the greeting come off as a question.

Trent flicked his eyebrows up in sort of a "cool guy" nod.

"I heard you guys fighting" he said flatly. His face had the same expression as his voice; empty.

"Sorry," I apologized sloppily, not meaning it, "I try to keep private matters private"

Trent grimaced at my coldness.

"I wasn't eavesdropping, I just thought maybe you'd want to talk about it?"

I shrugged.

"There's nothing to talk about"

"Frankly I wouldn't be phyched if I had a boyfriend who had someone else's bra"

I shrugged again, this time a little softer. After seeing Guitar Hero over here go bonkers over Gwen, I was surprised at how, for lack of a better word, "chill" he was being. The dude was in break-down not five hours ago over the Gothic Breakfast Fruit Plate everyone obsesses over. If there's one thing I can agree with Heather on, it's that Gwen is overrated and cruel. No matter how nutty Trent became, I still feel bad for the guy.

"Wanna come in?" I asked half-heartedly. Nothing good could come from a conversation with Freak Show No. 9, but I didn't really have any energy to be cruel, off-putting, or even sarcastic.

Trent came in and I offered him a seat on the empty bed Cody once occupied.

Beginning a conversation is always awkward, especially when you know exactly what you want to say. Ironic, isn't it?

"Sorry about you and Gwen. I suppose she didn't appreciate you" I squeaked out.

Trent shrugged this time.

"I suppose. I appreciate her a little too much"

I nodded soberly.

"Did Cody move his things into your room?" I asked, trying to get the subject off Gwen. Trent's green eyes were becoming glassy with tears.

"No, I'm actually in with Tyler. Dude was desperate to get out of Zeke's room" he said, his voice cracking on 'dude'. I hummed in agreement.

"Maybe Cody moved in with Zeke" Trent finished. I prayed, for Cody's sake, that that was not the case.

Whatever was going through my mind at that moment had made me snap. All the walls I had up in front of Trent just went down. I knew it the moment it happened, and I couldn't control it.

"I know I shouldn't have snapped at him, but I was too filled with jealousy. It bothers me how much everyone blindly worships her- Cody more than anyone"

I expected Trent to be offended at that statement, but he wasn't. He didn't even react to the mention of Gwen. Instead, he came and sat next to me and gave my shoulder a small pat.

I might not be the most masculine creature ever, but I loathe being seen as vunerable, especially in front of "cool" people. Although, Trent lost a lot of his cool when he let Gwen win every challenge at the expense of his team.

Trent didn't have anything to say to that, and after what I can only assume was a good few minutes, it was beginning to grow awkward. But who am I kidding, everything about this situation is awkward.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Trent open his mouth to say something, and then close it.

"Listen Trent..." I started, not actually knowing where I was going with it. "...I really appreciate you coming here, especially considering what you're going through"

He muttered something along the lines of 'absolutely' when there was a knock on the door. I didn't have any energy left in my soul to stand, so I told the knocker to come in. My heart started to beat in what felt like slow motion, because perhaps I was expecting Cody. But the moment I saw a red tracksuit come through the door frame, I knew I was about to get a headache.

"Hey Tyler, how's it going?" Trent said cooly. Tyler gave an awkward wave.

"Dude, I uh, broke the shower head again, can you come fix it?"

An audible sigh escaped Trent's parted lips, and he forced himself up. And like that, my conversation with Loony Tunes was over. But Tyler was still at my door.

"Everything okay Tyler?" I asked in a purposefully condescending voice. Although usually my condescending voice just sounds gay. Not that Tyler Kenard of all people would notice.

"Oh yeah everythings fantastic. It's not like my girlfriend has memory problems or anything"

Tyler was getting angry now. I have actually never seen him angry before. I was curious on where this was going. So I pushed him further.

"And Lindsay has a boyfriend who can't stay conscious for more than an hour. You both have your flaws"

Tyler didn't get angry at that statement though. In fact he emitted what I'm pretty sure was a laugh. It was a defeated, small laugh, but a laugh all the same.

"I guess everyone's relationships are falling apart" he said. It's no work of art, but I'm pretty sure that's the smartest thing to come out of Tyler.

"What can you expect? We're a bunch of 16 year olds stuck on a reality TV show. Our relationships are set up to fail"

His laugh this time was stronger.

"Sorry about you and Corey..."

"Cody," I corrected. I revoke my previous 'smart' statement.

"Right, Cody. Anyway, I was rooting for you guys all the way from the Awake-a-thon"

I laughed, and rolled my eyes. Maybe Tyler isn't a headache. Is he clumsy? Totally. Is he stupid? Oh yeah. But he's not been the worst company to have around at Loser Motel.

And then something occurred to me. I'm already trying to replace Cody.

\---------

The time is 8:09. I'm still deciding if I should go talk to Cody. I want to, but will it be worth it?

Gwen will be eliminated any day now, and when she gets here, the lame motel is going to turn into drama central. And that worries me, because with the tension between Trent and Gwen, Cody will likely be all up in her business, taking advantage of her vunerability. Not that I feel bad for her.

If I go and talk to Cody, it might make me feel better. But that doesn't mean he's going Gwen-free. And there's no reason to go and talk to the kid who can't shake off his little goth crush.

But what if I didn't go talk to him. What would happen then? He seemed genuinely upset when we broke up. But I'm not the kind of person to assume the best.

By the time it was 8:17, I had made the decision that I will go talk to him, but I won't let him tear my walls down. The kid might make me go soft, but that doesn't make me naive.

\--------

Cody was sitting at the long table in the conference room. It's a room that existed for the sole purpose of making the motel seem more professional and productive. None of the losers used it though. Except Geoff and Bridgette sometimes as a make out chamber 

Cody looked lifeless and pale.

He hadn't noticed I had showed up until I sat down adjacent to him, leaving a seat between us. I don't know how this is going to go.

Cody didn't move at all. He greeted me without turning his head.

"Hi Noah" he said, his voice raspy, proof he had a long, hard cry. Jesus, I didn't want to hurt the kid that badly.

"You wanted to talk" I stated, but it sounded more like a question.

"Noah I don't like Gwen. She's cruel and self-absorbed, and a bitch"

I was taken aback by his word choice. Not only does he rarely curse, but his words were mature and full of meaning.

"Of course she is. But that's part of what you like about her"

Cody shook his head somberly. How am I supposed to keep my wit if he keeps being this saddening?

"No, I don't like that. I don't know why I'm drawn to her. She treats me worse than most people at school. And what she did to Trent..."

He couldn't continue. He seemed to be confusing himself.

"Have you ever considered that maybe you like the concept of chasing her?"

Cody's aqua eyes widened, and I could see my own words circling through his brain. He was quiet for a good few minutes.

"I guess it would be pretty terrible to actually date her" he considered, his gears of through still at work.

"Exactly. She's pretentious and bitchy and a bully. You don't want that kind of girl"

Cody nodded slowly, and then shook his head violently.

"No no no!" He almost yelled.

I cocked my eyebrow at him. He looked me in the eyes, his pupils dilated from the dark room.

"I don't want that kind of girl. I don't want any girl actually. I just want you, and I want you to understand that Gwen means nothing"

I didn't know what to say, so I shrugged.

"Noah you have to forgive me" he sighed, turning his head away.

"If the season ends with us on bad terms, I'll never forgive myself" he continued.

I shook my head.

"Listen, Cody. Gwen's probably going to be voted out next, so you have until the final... maybe eight?... To prove that she doesn't mean a thing"

Cody's eyes lit up, and I felt a pang of guilt. But he had her bra, that's pretty damn serious to me.

"Does that mean I can move back in with you?"

"Are you in with Zeke?"

Cody shook his head.

"Geoff. But Bridgette's over there a lot"

I hummed in some sort of agreement.

"Yeah you can come back. But that doesn't mean we're back together yet"

Dammit. I gave in. This fucking boy makes me lose everything that makes me Noah. I never had plans to fall in love with anyone or to get attached to anything.

I knew this show would change me, but I didn't think it would be a good change.

I think this is a good change.


	14. Escape Party

I loathe the feeling of being infatuated. It's the equivalent of backing out of a duel and offering to solve the conflict with a hug. It's useless, cowardly, and will get you stabbed.

I am Noah Sterecra, however, and have an IQ higher than that of anyone in my school, including the teachers, but I am still a teenager. And that, by default, makes me dumb and naive. I, like every one of my peers, think with my heart as opposed to my brain. More realistically, us teens think with our genitals, but I have enough of an ego not to admit to that.

I am fully aware that everything involving Cody was a mistake I had swore myself not to make. But now that it's over, I've come to the decision that it would be a waste of my prodigious brain to sulk over the fallout.

However, it's a lot harder to get over him instantaneously with him still being my roommate. I find myself forgetting that I'm angry with him at times, and to control myself, I had to do exactly what I was hoping I wouldn't have to do.

Become closer with the other contestants.

There aren't very many tolerable options. There's Ezekiel. I hardly think he'll be my new friend. Eva and Bridgette? Nope.

Trent and Tyler are pretty much the only tolerable options. And after my conversation with Nutball, I don't really feel resentment towards him anymore.

So I made the first move, in a platonic way of course.

Trent was sitting in the lobby plucking chords on his guitar. The TV across from him was playing a Brazilian soccer game on mute. He was the only one in the lobby at that moment, so there really wasn't a better time.

I took a deep breath.

Just keep the sarcasm under control.

"Hey Trent, whatcha playin?"

He looked up from his instrument. His right hand had stopped strumming, but his other hand was still making the fingerings for the chord. Interesting.

"I'm trying to get the chords to Love Potion No. 9" he replied, giving that classic, sexy smirk.

Love Potion No. 9? Go figure.

"Well, that's cool" I said, trying to sound sincere. He nodded in response. He put his guitar down next to the chair he was sat in.

"So I saw you and Cody moved back in together. Everything okay now?"

When Trent says things like this - when he acts so mature, he's extremely hot. It makes it easy to shake the whole insane thing away.

"Um, it's complicated"

He nodded again. How can he act so cool after going all psycho on Gwen. On international television.

"Trent, dude, would it be okay if I spent a few nights with you and Tyler?"

"So I guess there's still tension between you and the Code-miester?"

I shrugged, mostly because I didn't want him to ask questions.

"Yeah it's chill. It'll be a good time"

I smiled slightly.

"Thanks, I'll go get my crap"

\------

Cody was in the room watching the Food Network. Without saying a word, I started collecting all my books, which were lying around in the places I had left them over the last few weeks. Cody must've been paying attention to what I was doing.

"Are you moving out?"

He sounded slightly sad.

"Temporarily. I need some time away from you Cody"

His bottom lip began trembling. Shit, I didn't want to make him cry again.

"Can't we please just talk about this please?" he stuttered. There was colour forming on his freckled face.

"I'll be back when I'm ready"

I didn't want to see his face after I said that, so I left.

Honestly, I'm not mad at Cody, or even mildly upset with him. But I made a deal with my own mind that I cannot fall in love. I need to recover from the mistake I made at the Playa.

So I moved into Trent and Tyler's room. Trent had found a mattress to put on the floor between their two beds so I'd be more comfortable. I insisted it wasn't necessary, but only because that's the conventional thing to do. In all honesty, I would loathe to sleep on the floor, so I appreciated it.

The room is completely identical to the one I had shared with Cody, except for the masses of Trent and Tyler's things everywhere. The room was fairly messy, which bothers me slightly, but it's better than being trapped in a hotel room with your ex-boyfriend.

So I spent the next few nights staying up late with my new roommates. We played a lot of those tacky, middle-school sleepover games, such as Never Have I Ever, Truth or Dare, and Twenty Questions.

"Never have I ever..."

The gears in Tyler's brain were turning pretty hard. Is it that hard to think of something you've never done?

"Never have I ever gone fishing" he finally finished, looking proud of himself. Both Trent and I put a finger down, leaving him with two, and myself with three. Trent's turn.

"Never have I ever...been to a party" he said.

Honestly, I'm surprised Trent, as cool as he is, has never attended any sort of party.

"Hold on," Tyler interrupted, "does that include birthday parties?"

Trent shrugged.

"I'm gonna say no"

I was the only one who put a finger down. Tyler, I'll believe he never went to a party, but Trent? He's hot, he's cool. Even I've gone to a few parties, albeit I didn't really enjoy it.

"Noah's turn" Tyler laughed, after taking a drink of what I think is lemonade.

"Okay, never have I ever..."

I was inturrupted by a knock on the door.

"I'll get it" said Trent, jumping up from his little campout on the floor. By floor, I mean my bed, but I don't really care enough to keep them off at this point.

I didn't really pay attention to who was at the door until I heard their voice. It was a voice I absolutely loathe.

"Can I speak to you Noah?" The voice rang, sending pins in my spine.

"Yeah whatever"

I got up, and I followed our intruder to the conference room, which I suppose has turned into the room of miserable conversations.

And now we were alone. Me and Gwen.

\-----

"I don't know what you did to Cody, but I can hear him sobbing from all the way down the hall, and Geoff told me it was your fault, so you need to fix it"

What an ass. A selfish ass. Cody clearly miserable and all she cares about is how annoying his sobs are?

"Like you treated him better" I shot back, refusing to look anywhere but her pale, flakey face. It's an intimidation method.

"It's not like I gave him any hope. You strung him along and dumped him in the trash" she scoffed.

"Y'know, he and I were working out perfectly fine, but because you're such a manipulative tart, he is still holding on to this idea of you!" I was screaming at this point, but I didn't care. "And since you're so concerned about his well-being, how about you go in there and give him some more false hope. He'd appreciate that more than seeing me!"

Gwen, to my surprise and utter disgust, smirked.

"A manipulative tart, huh?"

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sure you've been called worse" I spat.

"You're right. Well I'm gonna go, because I'm clearly not getting anywhere here, so enjoy your little sleepover"

"And you enjoy being hated internationally for doing what you did to an innocent guy"

Gwen stopped in her tracks, which were previously heading towards the door.

"Trent is fucking pyscho, I had no choice"

I shook my head.

"You're wrong about that," I stated boldly, "he was just under the reign of terror that is Gwenivere Ingrid"

She started to leave again.

"Kiss my ass" she murmured on her way out.

"You have enough people doing that already" I countered.

I was worn sick from that argument. When I got back to the room, Trent had the TV on to MTV, and Tyler was in the bathroom.

"That was brutal" Trent commented without turning away from the TV.

"You always seem to overhear my fights, don't you?"

This time he looked over at me and shrugged.

"Last time was an accident, this time, I was eavesdropping" he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes again and collapsed on Tyler's messy, unmade bed.

"By the way Noah, thanks for standing up for me"

"No problem" I said, my voice muffled by the bedsheets.

Tyler came out of the bathroom, drying his hands on his meshy basketball shorts.

"Wanna finish the game"

I certainly did not.

"I don't think now's the best time Ty" Trent said lightly.

I sat up, and looked at the guys.

"This show sucks"

They both nodded.

"Wanna do something bold, dangerous, and possibly illegal?" Trent asked coyly.

"That's a very Duncan thing to say dude" Tyler laughed.

I rolled my eyes yet again.

"And what is this illegal danger thing?"

"Let's sneak out of the motel, just us three. For a few hours maybe"

Trent's proposition held a lot of complications. He described, in detail, how we're all going to sneak through the skylight in the pool, and go into town for a day.

Now, I'm a good boy. I am not a person who likes to break rules. But leaving the grungy motel appealed to me more than anything else.

"Yeah, great idea and all, but how are we supposed to do that and not get caught by anyone inside or outside the building"

Trent had an answer to this too.

"We get one of the other losers to cover for us for the day, just like give an excuse why we are 'locked in the room', and we just go out on the town"

The plan is idiotic, but in a genius way. And frankly, I'd eat up an opportunity to escape the soul-destroying hell McClean stuck us in. Of course, I'm not one for sneaking out. I know it's a classic teenager move, but I have never even attempted it.

"When is it you want this to happen?" I asked Trent, who was turning off the TV.

"I don't know, maybe the next filming day?"

Tyler and I both shrugged. It's a plan that is pretty much guaranteed to work, but if we were caught, we'd be in massive trouble.

"Aren't we like, not supposed to reveal the elimination order?" Asked Tyler.

"Yeah, but that only affects dear Trent"

Trent just shrugged. I guess he's one of those cool, rule-breaker, types. Hot.

"Let's do it two days from tonight, cool?"

Tyler nodded, I half-heartedly shrugged. I have no idea what's outside our motel, so for all we know, is sneaking out could be pointless, but it's worth a shot. Plus, the longer I can get away from Cody, the better chance I have of recovering our friendship.

\---------

As boring as the lobby generally is, especially for an introvert who doesn't take much interest in social activities, the kitchen is a saving grace for all of us teens. It's constantly stocked with the essential junk foods, breakfast items, and baking materials that every teenager needs to be decently satisfied. 

Every couple of nights, one of us (usually Tyler), gets a bunch of crap to keep in the room. Somehow, I got nominated tonight, so I got the usuals. Mountain Dew for me, Pepsi for Trent, Sprite for Tyler, cheetos, doritos, red licorice, and popcorn. Healthy, I know. But it's been our diet thus far into season 2, and none of us are dead yet, so whatever.

I brought the stache back to the room, where Trent and Tyler were chatting , waiting for me to come back so we could begin our game of Fuck, Marry, Kill.

"Alright, I got your crap, so I'm not going first"

I dropped everything on the nightstand and sat down beside Tyler. 

"Alright, I'll go," Trent volunteered, "Noah, you have Geoff, DJ, and Justin"

Easy.

"Fuck Geoff, Marry DJ, Kill Justin. Geoff's the hottest, but not someone I'd want to be with forever. DJ is a great cook, so I'd want to marry him, and Justin's worthless to me"

The other two nodded in response.

"Okay, Tyler. I'm giving you Duncan, Eva, and Owen" I said, snickering.

"Man, all dudes?" he whined. 

I guess Eva can count as a dude.

"Kill Duncan...marry Eva...oh wait she's a chick! Bang Ev...nevermind,marry Eva, bang Owen"

"You're going to bang Owen?" I laughed. Tyler rolled his eyes.

"He's the least likely to kill me in the process, just saying"

By now, we were all on the floor sitting in a little circle on top of my mattress. 

"So you'd bang a dude over a chick, huh?" Trent teased. But hey, I don't want to bang any chicks, let alone Eva.

"It's Eva, she hardly counts anyway"

Trent rolled his eyes and grinned.

"Whatever bruh, your go"

I momentarily lost focus on the game, because outside the room in the hallway, I could hear a conversation going on between Gwen and who I'm pretty sure is Bridgette. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but it didn't sound friendly.

I had to hear what was going on. I eat up Gwen drama.

"Hold up, shut it for a second" I murmured to Trent, who was deciding whether he wanted to smash Izzy or Katie.

I crept over to the door and put my ear up to the cold, plasticy wood. 

"Y'know, you were a lot nicer on the show. Nicer AND faker" I heard Bridgette say.

Gwen scoffed, I think.

"I didn't do anything to you, Malibu Barbie" Gwen scowled.

"Maybe not, but I heard you yelling at Cody about Noah, and that's not your business!"

"We're on TV, everything is everyone's business!"

Both Gwen and Bridgette were getting angry. I had to give props to Bridgette for sticking it to Gwen. Trent and Tyler were looking at me as if to ask what was going on. I held my index finger up to indicate I'd tell them in a moment.

"You're the reason those two broke up, and you just went in and made Cody more upset? And now you're going to knock on that door and pick a fight with Noah, aren't you?"

I heard Gwen let out a sigh. It wasn't a defeated sigh, just an irritated one.

"He already yelled at me, I'm here for Trent"

"Just leave everyone alone Gwen, we all thought you were nicer than this, especially Trent"

There was silence. And then a knock on the door. I walked over to Trent and bent down.

"I have a feeling it's for you" I said quietly, sitting down in my spot and taking a drink of Mountain Dew. Drama does make one thirsty.

Trent opened the door to Gwen, who's pale face was reddened with anger.

"What's up Gwen" he said cooly. His relaxed tone seemed to come to a surprise to her.

"I just wanted to make sure you're doing okay" she said, her voice cracking a little on 'doing'.

Trent turned his head and looked at me confused. I gave him the "she's lying" look as subtly as possible.

"Well that's sweet. I'm doing good, just chilling with Tyler and Noah, playing some games. Care to join?"

His invitation caught her off guard. I could tell by the way he asked, he knew she would decline, or at least get the hint that he was messing with her.

"I better not. See you around guys"

She slammed the door as Trent went to shut it, but he just laughed.

"Man she's high maintenance. We gotta bail tomorrow dudes, we get out of the motel tomorrow night?"

"Sounds okay" Tyler agreed.

I nodded. I need the break away from all of this. I just want to go home and do normal teenage things like science fair and video games and watching movies with friends. I feel like I'm on some sort of spinning teacup ride. Goes around and around in two different directions, and it makes me want to puke.

"Alright Trent, I believe it's your turn to ask me" I said, trying to break the weird atmosphere that was hanging around the room.

"Okay, how about Bridgette, Beth, and Izzy?"

"Man, all chicks!" I said, mocking Tyler. He chuckled at my imitation. Tyler's not so bad.

"Marry Bridgette. If I had to pick a girl, it would be her. Smash Izzy. Sorry Beth" I laughed. Trent and Tyler did too.

"Rest in peace Beth" Trent joked, causing whatever odd tension there was before to be broken.

"Speaking of Beth, she's doing pretty solid in the competition so far" Trent mused, propping himself against the side of his bed.

"No kidding. So is my Linds"

I shrugged.

"I guess you're right. And I have a feeling Heather's not going to be around much longer. It's like she lost her game when she lost her hair"

Unfortunately for Heather, my statement seemed to be true. I've noticed her lack of competitiveness since the beginning of Total Drama Action, and it makes me wonder if it has something to do with the lack of confidence that comes with being bald. It's almost like her hair represented the character she was last season, and without it, her game is off. But perhaps it's only because some of the other players are becoming such powerhouses. Justin, Courtney, Beth, LeShawna, and Duncan are doing pretty well. Justin especially surprised me, since he was such an underdog last season.

Our conversation about the current season went on until Tyler passed out from what I'm mostly sure was just exhaustion. Trent and I decided to hit the hay as well. I slept in Tyler's bed since he was comatose on my mattress.

"Hey Trent?" I half-whispered.

"What's up?"

"Are you okay? I mean with the Gwen thing?"

It was dark so I couldn't see his expression.

"Honestly? Yes, I feel free. I feel...as if I've been handed a flashlight in the middle of a dark tunnel"

"Odd analogy, but okay. Night dude"

"G'night Noah"


	15. Trenches Of War

Getting out of the building was built up to be an elaborate plan of stealth and caution, however, Trent failed to consider that he was dragging along me, the least athletic cast member, and Tyler, unarguably the clumsiest loser. So Trent's plan didn't go quite as smoothly as it was made out to be, but it was manageable.

I managed to convince Geoff to cover for us without having him ask too many questions. Geoff never took me as a snitch, so I figured we'd be safe. Frankly, the only real obstacle was getting through the skylight without being noticed. We decided to do this late at night to ensure we wouldn't be caught by another loser.

So we're standing on the pool deck in our jackets looking for a way to open the skylight. It was well into autumn by now and the crisp Canadian breeze was floating off the windows of the pool.

"I brought a rope" Trent said quietly, keeping his voice small in the echoing room.

"What for?" Tyler asked.

Tyler hadn't really dressed for the occasion. He was wearing jeans, what looked like a Maple Leaves t-shirt, and a pair of grungy old court shoes.

"I'm gonna climb up, tie the rope to the rafters, and see if I can get this window open" Trent said looking around for a sturdy path up the wall.

"So then we have to climb? Cause I don't have much upper body strength" I said.

I don't mean to be a whiner, I just have a limited amount of skills. None of which are climbing a rope.

"Hold on!" Trent said loudly, his voice ringing across the pool water.

I flinched.

"Keep it down T"

"Sorry dudes, but I found a better way out"

Tyler and I walked over to where Trent was standing. There was another window that could open.

"Wonderful"

Trent managed to open the window with little effort. The air coming through the open window was sharp. It sent goosebumps across my arms, which were covered by the fleece of my coat.

"Let's bounce" Tyler shivered, crawling through the window. I followed suite, landing on the grass.

Tyler and I are both pretty thin, but Trent's jacked body (Seriously, how often does this guy work out?) was having trouble getting through the narrow split in the window. Once he did, my brain finally adjusted to the fact that we were all violating contracts against the King Of Contracts himself.

As I mentioned, I'm not one for rule-breaking. So getting in potential law-breaking mischief is slightly unnerving for poor Noah.

"What's the plan, Stan?" I tried asking Trent, but he was staring slack-jawed at the distance. I squinted, trying to see what he was distracted by.

"You've got to be joking" he muttered.

"Trent, dude?"

Trent's eyes refocused, making him flinch slightly.

"That's the film lot, those towers over there"

Trent pointed a finger towards two wiry frames of towers that looked like they were bearing lights. 

"So McLean imprisoned us on the sidelines of his game, huh? Go figure" Tyler said, his arms folded.

"You rode that limousine over here. Didn't you notice it was just right here?" I asked Trent, whose face was still with disbelief.

He shook his head.

"I swear the ride was like twenty minutes after I was voted off"

"To be fair, he was sobbing the whole time" Tyler teased.

Trent shrugged.

"So now what?"

I'd rather be asleep or watching or tacky movie than be on the territory of the wild competition freaks. At this point the million means nothing to me, as I hardly trust there even is a million anyway. Fucking Chris. 

"Let's go check out the lot. McLean won't catch us, he has his own place in the nearest town"

And because we had nothing better to do, the three of us walked towards the film lot.

\------

The outskirts of the lot are pretty much just piles of cinder blocks, wooden pallettes, broken lights, and balls of used gaff tape.

"This place screams Chris McLean" I said, stepping through the garbage.

"I really want to see Lindsay" Tyler gushed, distracting himself. He tripped over a pallette, creating a crashing sound that resonated over the film lot.

"Careful, dude" Trent warned, pulling Tyler to his feet. Man that kid is clumsy, which makes me wonder why Trent wanted to bring him. If we get caught, 20 bucks says Tyler will be the reason.

Tyler was rubbing his head.

"Do I get to see Lindsay?"

"We can't go into their trailers!" I half snarled. I'm pretty damn sure if we did, there'd be someone there to beat the daylight out of us.

"Noah's right, especially not the girl trailer. That just would not look good"

Tyler's face fell.

"Then what are we even doing here?"

No one really had a good answer for that. However, trespassing on McClean territory is somehow better than being trapped in a motel with a bunch of whiney, chaotic losers.

We decided it was best to keep a safe distance from the trailers, but we ended up snooping around the tent for no reason other than it was there and out of the way of anyone who could snitch.

"Chef doesn't camp out in the kitchen, does he?" I asked, skeptical to go near. Chef would chop us into little teriyaki bits and serve us as his next meal if he found us where we're not supposed to be.

Trent just shrugged and walked into the canvas tent, followed by Tyler, both lacking concern for the consequences. It was only I who felt the ominous danger seemed to radiate from the tent.

But it turns out I was right, because as I followed Trent and Tyler into the tent, I found they had both halted at the sight of a chiselled figure sitting at the far table.

"Justin?"

It was dark enough that I couldn't see his face, but I assumed Trent must've been able to.

"Hm? Oh, oh, sorry Chris, I was just finishing my facial..." Justin murmured, clearly only half awake.

"Dude, it's Trent"

That must've woken Justin up, because I saw his silhouette shoot up and tilt his head.

"Didn't we eliminate you?"

Tyler had managed to find a light switch, and lit up the tent and kitchen. Justin was sitting at the far table, his face covered in some sort of sugar scrub, and a tub of soapy water beside him.

"Uh, yes, you did... Shouldn't you be in the trailer?"

I was still blinking my eyes, trying to adjust to the light, and absentmindedly ran a hand through my hair.

"And shouldn't you be eliminated?" Justin countered, trying to get the mask off his face with a cloth.

"We snuck out"

Justin rolled his eyes.

"Please don't tell me you're here to beg McClean to be back in the competition. You were voted out almost unanimously"

Trent shook his head.

"No, we're just out for the night, and turns out we're imprisoned right outside the film lot"

The abrasiveness in Justin's eyes softened.

"Don't plan on getting comfy boys, this place is a giant bear trap"

Trent rubbed the sweat off back of his head.

"We were just leaving, right boys?" Trent said, shooting me and Tyler a look. I shrugged and started walking out, followed by a confused Tyler. Trent began walking towards the exit before he was stopped by Justin.

Justin had whispered something into his hair, making Trent's eyes widen. I turned around to see exactly what was going on, but Trent shooed me away.

\-------

After what I assumed was roughly ten minutes of waiting outside the tent with Tyler, I began growing impatient. Which actually is quite a while, considering I'm me, and have better things to waste my energy on than waiting around for Guitar Hero and Narcissus himself. I began assessing the film lot. The lights were the only thing lighting up the area, as the sky was full of charcoal clouds. No moon, no stars.

The lot was speckled with different sets, each one tackier than the last, and random equipment littered the ground. And everything was filthy. Either covered in dirt, cobwebs, fake blood, mystery stickiness. I counted my blessings that I wasn't one of the losers, asleep in the tin trailers, exposed to both the cameras and each other.

Tyler was the one to interrupt my thoughts. His fragile, tired voice crackled with fright and disturbance.

"Someone found us" he shivered, pointing his finger towards the motel.

I was carful to turn my head slowly, as if it made any difference. The silhouette on the edge of the lot was unrecognizable, but with Tyler and I sitting under the well lit tent (which was still filled with Trent and Justin by the way), the figure could no doubtedly single us out.

My brain started narrowing down exactly who it could be and what the consequences would be. At least it wasn't Chris. He wouldn't have come from the motel. It could've been Courtney, that little snitch. That probably would've been the worst case.

By the time the figure because recongnizable, Courtney didn't sound too bad.

He had his blanket wrapped around his like a cloak, the same way he had it when we had watched that horror movie at the Playa.

"Cody, what the hell?"

His gentle pace picked up speed until he was standing above me and Tyler.

"No, you! What the hell? Why are you here?" He said far too loudly.

"We're out for a walk"

I stood up so I could start asking him questions. My face was getting hot with both anger and confusion.

Cody looked chilly. He wasn't wearing any shoes, and he was in his pajamas.

"Dude, why are you out here?"

Cody eyed the ground nervously.

"You weren't in your room" he shivered. He tightened his grip on his blanket cape. 

I turned my head towards Tyler, who was watching the two of us from the ground. 

Why can't Trent hurry up?

"Why does it matter?"

Cody shrugged, and for the first time since the breakup, I felt genuinely guilty. It was clear his feelings for me were greater than just a backup plan from Gwen. Of course, he'd been telling me that. But I'm stubborn. I don't listen.

I opened my mouth to say something along the lines of "go back to the motel" or even harsher, "leave me alone". But before I could emit a word, Cody started snivelling.

Shit. I can't deal with a crier.

" No, don't cr..."

"Noah I didn't want it to be like this! I didn't want you to think I'm still hung up on Gwen, because I'm not! I don't want to have to avoid you! I-I want to go on stupid adventures with you and watch Pawn Stars with you, a-and chug Mountain Dew while watching movies together and ha-have..."

His voice was becoming raw, and his eyes were glossy with tears. The guilt I was feeling started hitting me harder– hard enough to leave bruises.

"Cody, calm down" I whispered. I know I'm an asshole, but there's no way I could deal with this if he was crying.

Cody sniffed and blinked his eyes, letting the trapped tears fall down his shadowed face.

I turned to Tyler.

"Wait for Trent, and I'll meet you back in the room. I have to deal with this"

Tyler nodded, and peeked through the tent flap at Trent.

What the hell are him and Justin doing for this long?

"Come on Cody, let's go talk"

I let him lead back to the motel, keeping a distance between us. He was still sniveling and still wrapped in his blanket. The squeeze through the open window was no effort for the little guy.

I let him lead back into his room. The one we used to share.

"Cody, it's okay, breathe"

He sat down on his bed, his back slouching. I sat on the bed across from him. My bed.

"Noah I will..."

I cut him off.

"Shut up Cody and let me talk"

He whimpered softly.

"You've got to stop sulking okay? I'm not worth that. Go be a playa' like you want to be"

I guess I was trying to sound motivational or comforting, but his face was streaked with salty tears.

"Noah you don't get it!" He sounded angry. "I don't want fucking Gwen or any of those girls! I don't even want any other guy! I was so fucking happy with you and I want you to realize that!"

I'd never heard him swear like that before. But the words rolled off his tounge smoothly, each one slapping me in the face harder than the last.

I had to make sure he was done before I started talking.

"Cody, we just aren't right for each other. I'm cold and sarcastic and selfish – you deserve better than that. And you have an uncontrollable loyalty to Gwen, and I deserve better than that. Plus I didn't even want to date until I was completely done with school, so ending it where I did was the easiest thing I could do. It's best for both of us"

And then I realized what I was saying. Who I was talking to.

This is Cody, the only kid who could've possibly sucked me in far enough to obtain sympathy for another person. The kid who I know helped vote me off the island and I didn't give a rat's ass about it. The kid who snuck out of the motel to come and find me, only to attempt the impossible feat of changing Noah Sterecra's mind once it has been made up.

And something tells me this might be my only chance to change it.


	16. One Last Glance

"Who would've thought Duncan would make it to the finale?" Trent snarled behind a pair of sunglasses.

We had to take a bus to the Aftermath Studio, which wasn't that far from the film lot either. I found a seat across the isle from Trent and Justin.

Ever since Justin had gotten eliminated, he and Trent have been oddly friendly with each other. I had been under the impression that they did not get along. In fact, the two of them got a separate room, and Tyler and I stayed in his room. It's better than pressing four into a room though. We still hang out a lot, and play our stupid games together, but the novelty of it had devalued after a while.

Oh yeah, and then there's the deal with Cody...

\-------

"Cody, we just aren't right for each other. I'm cold and sarcastic and selfish – you deserve better than that. And you have an uncontrollable loyalty to Gwen, and I deserve better than that. Plus I didn't even want to date until I was completely done with school, so ending it where I did was the easiest thing I could do. It's best for both of us"

Cody took a breath. One he had been holding above his head in hope. I frowned, searing in guilt. But I stand by what I say; it's best to leave it where we are.

"After the finale, can I at least have your number? Can I still talk to you? Play Team Fortress 2 with you?"

I stifled a laugh. That was one of the cutest things I've ever heard.

"Of course. We make pretty good friends"

A smile emerged from his thin lips. A small smile, but a genuine one.

"Plus," I added hesitantly, "I bet anything there will be a season three to suffer through"

\-------

Being in the competition sucks, but being in the Aftermath peanut gallery is majorly worse. You're being caged without the promise of one million dollars. I know it only took an hour or so to film the whole thing, but it seemed so much longer than that. By the time the voting came, my hair (which I had spent 20 minutes blow drying to perfection this morning) was soggy with sweat.   
I was seated in my usual spot between Cody and Zeke. I don't think anyone was forcing us to take the same seat each time, but I crave consistency.

One of the first things I noticed, was that Gwen and Trent were sitting together. They've actually been since Gwen got eliminated, which makes me believe that someone had instructed them to for the sake of drama. There was clear tension between them, but I could tell his mind was elsewhere. Gwen wasn't on his mind.

The peanut gallery was filled to the brim, and it had been getting more and more intolerable to be in the lobby of that mouldy hotel. When I do, there's always something ridiculous going on. Courtney and Heather screaming at each other, Harold trying to woo LeShawna, Geoff accidentally breaking the light fixture. It's never calm enough out there for me to be comfortable, so I just got the tea from Tyler.

The finale to forever to film, and all for it to come to a vote. The thing was that both Duncan and Beth are equally insufferable to me, but I voted for Beth mostly because I know how much Trent and Justin loathe Duncan. But also partly because he grabbed my lip that first day of hell. And threatened to behead me. And pantsed me. Okay I had every reason not to vote for him.

\--------

When the votes decided Duncan the winner, I was honestly indifferent. Big deal, punk won the money, I just wanted to go home. Through everything that's happened here and all the people I met, I just wanted to let go of it, make it not a big deal.

After I packed all my things into my suitcase, I exchanged numbers with Trent, Tyler, and Justin. I had already given Cody my number, so I figured I'd just wait for him to text me. Other than them, and Owen who gave me his number, I intended to lose contact completely.

"I'll see you around dude," Tyler said, giving my hand a shake, "maybe at season three?

"Don't give McLean any ideas" I groaned. Some of the contestants were getting picked up from the motel, but most of us got bussed off to the airport to fly home.

I took the bus back with Trent and Tyler, has Justin had gotten picked up my his mom from the motel.

"So Trent, this might be pushing the boundaries of appropriate questions, but are you bi?"

Trent looked up from his book and took out one of his earbuds.

"You know what, I never really gave much thought to labelling it, but yeah, I'd say I'm bi"

He gave a casual smile and slipped his music back in. Well that clears that up. I thought of a second question to ask Trent, but it seemed intrusive, so I but my smartass tounge.

\------

I wish I could say that the goodbyes were hard, and that once I had left everyone I was washed over with regret. But I stand my ground, and bathe in the luxury of finally being alone. I'm not famous anymore, I'm just Noah Sterecra, the bitchy Indian kid from down the street.

The first to greet me was my dad, as he was the one picking me up from the airport. To my embarrassment, he held up a little poster that said "Welcome back, Noah-it-all". The drive home was mostly my dad asking me a bunch of questions about the show, albiet having seen it.

"Meet any cute guys? Some of them seemed pretty nice" he said with a smirk. And yes, my parents know about my sexuality, despite how carefully I conceal my love for dudes. Wink wink.

"I made a couple friends" I said, hoping I wouldn't have to get into the whole Cody thing.

"Not that mohawked delinquent though, right? He took your pants off for heaven's sake! Your mother was appalled and even tried to contact the producers abou..."

"No dad. Remember Trent, Tyler, and Justin?"

He had to take a second to think about who was who.

"Trent's that kid with the nine problem, right? He seemed alright. That Gwen was pretty harsh on him"

I nodded, not having anything to say about Gwen. I suppose if it wasn't for the way she treated Cody, and later Trent, I'd have a higher tolerance for her.

"And Tyler is the tracksuit kid? Or was he the one with the cowboy hat?"

"Tracksuit"

Dad let out a breathy snicker.

"What?"

"His chicken thing, that cracked me up"

I was actually surprised my parents kept watching after I got eliminated. I wouldn't have if I hadn't been stuck on Playa De Sucky.

When I got home, only Mom and one of my sisters, Natty, were home to greet me. I expected at least a few more to be there, but most of them have grown up and left.

"Noah! My boy!"

Mom encased me in a hug, which despite being a brooding teenage boy, I received gratefully. I was just happy to be home.

After all the greetings and questions died down, I got on my laptop for the first time since I left for Total Drama Island. I opened it up, scrolled through a bunch of junky emails, and opened Facebook.

Majority of my notification were just messages posted to my wall about how my friends had seen me on TV and such. I answered a few direct messages from the people I felt it necessary to talk to, and I checked my friend requests.

Tyler Kenard has sent you a friend request.

Courtney Barlow has sent you a friend request.

Trent Cooper has sent you a friend request.

DJ Benson has sent you a friend request.

And then I read the most recent one, from about an hour ago.

Cody Anderson has sent you a friend request.

I'm just glad the kid wasn't holding a grudge against me. But it's over, the game's done and I'm home.

I spent my first few days home unpacking and catching up with my family. I played a few video games and checked out some new shows, but I avoided going out to see any friends, all eager to see me again.

It wasn't until a week after I had gotten home that I finally brought myself to be social. I let my friends Keegan and Joey take me out to lunch, while I listened to another endless stream of questions and comments.

"That Bridgette chick is pretty hot, did you get her number?"

"Were they different off screen?"

"I can't believe they voted you off third dude"

I had a good time, despite just wanting to let the whole Total Drama thing go. I just wanted to return to life as Noah, not life as a reality TV star.

Weeks went by, and the subject started to fade. I went back for the last few weeks of my junior year, and began to fully unwind in the fresh feeling of early June.

There was one day I was sitting at my laptop, messaging back and forth with Trent, when my phone rang. I answered it thinking it was probably just Keegan asking to hang out later that day. But it was a different, yet equally familiar voice.

"Yo Noah, how would you feel about taking a low profile job as my assistant?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Not only will you get paid, but I can guarantee you'll be safe from any paparazzi or crazy fans"

"Count me in McClean".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: 
> 
> So this story took me over a year to finish, but the story isn't over. I've been working on a sequel to start bringing Noah and Cody back together. So far it has 4 chapters published on Wattpad, and as soon as I finish it I'll post it to AO3. My Wattpad username is @glowworm888 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos! 
> 
> ~ Gabbi


End file.
